My thoughts...on stuff

Movin' on up!

2007-08-13T19:10:00.000-05:00

Just like George and Weezy, I'm movin' on up, to a deluxe domain, on Wordpress. Yes, I'm leaving Blogger and moving to my own domain, http://mythoughtsonstuff.com. (You should be redirected there in about 5 seconds.) Yes, it's been fun and I've made many memories here, but it's time to move on. So update your feed readers and bookmarks, as this will be my final post here. Join me will you?

My thoughts on...the final Harry Potter book

2007-08-03T16:38:00.000-05:00

As all of civilization knows, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, the seventh and final of the series, was released little over three weeks ago. It got a release worthy of a Hollywood movie, and sold a record breaking 8.3 million copies in the U.S. in its first 24 hours of release and 72 million worldwide. All that, despite fundies protesting that Harry is the spawn of Satan and will sodomize their children with his wand. Enough already! Potter ain't evil! In fact, saying that Harry Potter is evil is the same as saying Bewitched and The Fairly Oddparents are evil. Check this post for more of my thoughts on this.

I've also noticed something very peculiar. Welcome, but peculiar. Kids are actually reading again! Seriously! I never thought this generation would ever be able to get their eyes off their monitors. But Potter's bringing ~~sexy~~ reading back! Kids are begging their parents to get these books, and jump for joy when they get them, as if they were getting a hot new toy. When I was young and I got a book, I thought, "cheapskates." But not anymore. J.K. Rowling must be pretty happy. With Deathly Hallows out and Order of the Phoenix in theatres now, she can roll around buck naked in her pile of muggle money. A pleasant thought indeed (she is kinda hot).

I feel a sense of finality (and a little sadness) with the end of the series. Though I'm hesitant to admit it, I am a Potter fan. At the beginning of The Sorcerer's Stone movie, I was like "what the hell is this?" By the end, I was intrigued. It's hard not to get sucked into the world of Harry Potter. The characters are well developed (Hermoine pun not intended). Many of them grow during the series, with interesting backstories behind them all. Few of them morally ambiguous, especially Professor Snape. The plot is captivating and well thought out, with surprises on every page. And with Deathly Hallows, all the plot holes are taken care of. It's a small wonder why Rowling and brainchild are so successful (and not because of some secret pact with Satan to corrupt the youth of the world). Goodbye Harry, and thanks for adding a little magic to this bleak world.

My thoughts on...The Simpsons Movie

2007-07-31T14:49:00.001-05:00

Before I start, just let me say that I FINALLY GOT THE INTERNET! Yesterday evening in fact. Now I can post even more than before! So expect a lot more activity on this blog (if I can manage to wrestle control of my PC from the rest of my family).

Springfield's royal family has finally hit the big screen, and there has been a lot of publicity surrounding it, strangest of all a picture of Homer drawn in a field holding a doughnut next to a nude Australian fertility symbol. Maybe Homer wanted to play ring toss with it. Despite all this, I don't think that this movie will be the blockbuster its hyped to be. Why? Sit back and I'll tell you why.

The Simpsons is the both the longest running American sitcom and animated series, with over 400 episodes. With so many episodes behind its belt, it will be a miracle if the creators can come up with more material. Plus the series feels a bit tired to me. It doesn't make me laugh nearly as much as when I was little. Perhaps its because I've watched so much TV that I can now see the punchline a mile away, or because I've grown up, and therefore become more serious, but the jokes aren't as smart as they used to be. It has become too predictable, the plots too nonsensical, and just plain stupid.

And I'm not feeling the fanbuzz on the Net. For most big movies, especially big screen versions of beloved old school shows, there is a monstrous wave of fan-powered hype. Blogs, chat rooms, websites, forums, etc. But I feel there'd be way more hype if it was a Family Guy movie. Still, with its large fanbase, this movie cannot possibly be a flop. Not like I want it to be, as I'm a diehard fan. But if it was released 15 years ago, when it was first envisioned, (yes, it's been in the pipeline that long!) it would've gotten a much better reception. Though I hear rumours that the movie has returned the franchise to its roots. I surely hope so, if I'm gonna spend money to see this movie, it had better be the Simpsons I fell in love with as a child, not the shadow of its former self.

My thoughts on...social networking sites

2007-07-25T17:47:00.000-05:00

Before I start, I guess I should explain my absence. My monitor was giving some colour trouble, and I had to send it to the shop for a full 7 days (not counting Saturday and Sunday). Now it's back, and showing better than ever. For the past few days I've been watching CNBC and I've been hearing all about the net worth of social networking sites like MySpace, LinkedIn, Facebook and so on, and the debates as to which will become the next Google, if any. Why are these sites so hot? My guess is because these sites feed people's egos. And how can we talk about social networking sites without talking about MySpace, where unpopular kids and narcissistic brats can both play high school popularity contest online, posting their best ever photos on their profiles just to get comments from horny strangers of the opposite sex, or see who can get the most "friends." I mean how can someone have over 1,000 friends?

Oh and let's not forget the movies, bands and events that have profiles, exploiting MySpace's audience of teens, the only demographic with 100% disposable income, a marketer's wet dream. And all of these social networking sites have profiles that look like the land that HTML forgot. We're advancing towards XHTML, but these profiles feature those damn glittery GIFs and colour combinations that would make your eyes bleed. I have a MySpace profile which I am totally inactive on. How inactive? I just signed on, then decided a couple minutes later that it was a complete waste of time. I have no friends, save the omnipresent Tom, no doubt there to prevent you from realizing the harsh reality that no one really does love you. Yet still I've gotten two friend requests! What the hell? To date I haven't responded. I don't have time to waste by adding to someone's friend count. One of their profiles was deleted. Why? I shudder to think.

That's why Hi5 and Facebook are more my style. Clean interface, more grownups and less sex offenders, though Hi5 has made some changes in order to keep up with MySpace. Personally, I use social networking sites to link to...wait for it ... ACTUAL FRIENDS. Sure, I may not have a rockstar's amount of friends. In fact I have barely have over 100 friends, but that's OK with me. Less crap in my inbox. So is social networking the revolution it was envisioned to be? Nope. In fact I don't know how sitting alone at your computer checking your profile every half hour for comments helps your social skills, but it sure is profitable. I guess if I want to become a millionaire, I need to create a site where countless people can waste their time, interact with others, feeling as if they're adding something to their lives. Funny. My blog hasn't made me a cent to this day.

My thoughts on...E3 '07

2007-07-13T16:01:00.000-05:00

Videogames. They defined my childhood as much as Power Rangers and stuck 'n' pull (tag for the Americans out there). So naturally E3 couldn't miss me. But this year's E3 was much different from the ones before it. It was a greatly scaled down version. And when I say scaled down, I mean scaled down. The entire event could hold in last year's Sony booth. No shwag (geek lingo for free promotional stuff), no booth babes (damnit!), no noise, no big displays and no big crowds, as it was invitation only. It was basically a press conference for games. Normally I'd watch E3 non-stop, my eyes glued to the screen. But this year I could barely muster the interest to watch it for 15 minutes straight. They just took the fun out of it. As much of a gamer as I am, I can watch people talk about cellshading, realistic lighting, enhanced AI and using these minor improvements to justify the ridiculous price of their games.

Oh, and did I fail to mention the lack of new release info? Game companies are releasing less and less information about games and making their demos shorter and shorter, using that old carrot on a stick approrach, trying to create hype for their games. Many hardcore games are falling for it, making blog posts about these demos, each in their own way powering the hype, but I don't know how someone can publish a post about a 3 minute clip of Halo 3. Think that's why E3's now a snoozefest. Sure there are financial reasons, but gaming now makes more money than movies (that is until someone figures out how to burn CDs). And with fans fueling the hype amongst themselves, all the extravagance of past years is not longer neccessary. Don't think I'll be watching next year. I'm still ticked about the booth babes. They're the closest many of these socially inept gamers will come to being with a hot girl. But of any of you out-of-work booth babes need a job, I have several positions for you.

My thoughts on...the Thinking Blogger Award

2007-07-10T14:38:00.000-05:00

If you've been paying attention to my blog, you'll realize that I'm sporting a brand new button in my sidebar, the Thinking Blogger Award. I was granted this award by Ricardo of UNLOADED. His take on my blog: "Let Leon share with you his humorous insights on the hot topics of the day. If it's a big event unfolding in the world of pop culture, he's got his always unique take on it. Lots of fun." Nice dude. I could've taken the gold one, 'cause I love gooold, but silver has a certain understated elegance to it. I'm happy to have won this award, 'cause I've had my eye on it for quite a while, mainly because it's an award granted to you by your peers. Kinda like the Oscars, but without the pomp, pagentry or fake gratitude. Now I've got it, a testament to my mastery in the art of not sucking. As the rules of the award state, you must grant the award to five bloggers that make you think. So here they are. P.S. These aren't the only ones that make me think, so don't feel any way :-)

The Madbull's Blog - Chronicles the adventures of the Mad Bull, a Jamaican expat in Cayman.
And Still I Rise - A blog with intelligent, thoughtful posts that anyone can relate to.
CrankyPutz - An indian chick whose posts are always hilarious.
She's Royal - A new favourite for me. Always has interesting points of view on the seemingly mundane.

And the most deserving of this award (drumroll please)...
Cruel Virgin - A woman who always provides some seriously thought provoking posts.

There you go guys! Enjoy your new sidebar bling!

My thoughts on...7-7-7

2007-07-09T14:28:00.000-05:00

If you didn't realize it, (if so you we're probably living in a cave. If so, welcome to civilization!), Saturday was the seventh day of the seventh month of the seventh year of the new millennium. I heard that some couples were rushing to get married on that day so that their marriages would be prosperous and long. Riiight. I don't think the "luck" of 7-7-7 can stand against an affair with a secretary or a poolboy. The only place 777 means something is in Vegas. And to think, 6-6-6 was just last year. The sky didn't turn blood red then, so I didn't have much reason to believe that Saturday would've been lucky. Besides, I don't believe in luck. I'm too much of a realist for that. I believe in chance though, but I don't believe that anything we do, like throwing salt over your shoulder, throwing a penny in a fountain or wearing horseshoes in your drawers will allow us to control chance. I consider myself fortunate to have witnessed these events in my lifetime. Nothing lucky happened to me on Saturday. Same old, same old. Well,maybe something did happen, but I was too busy studying to notice. Anything good happen to you?

My thoughts on...Porno Pizza

2007-07-05T15:18:00.000-05:00

Over the years, pizza companies have been trying to find various ways to get you to buy their pie. Breadsticks, brownies, cinna-stix, free drinks, free pizzas, free pizza upgrades, special deals on special days, etc. But a new pizza restaurant in Canada just may have the thing to trump them all...

Porn.

You heard me. Porno Pizza hides pornographic pictures at the bottom of every box of their pizza, which is slowly revealed as you eat each slice. A photo ID is required to enter the establishment of course. Many are offended by the distasteful gimmick, especially child advocacy groups. Owner Corey Wildeman is unfazed, saying "you'll never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator. Everyone knows: sex sells." (At least he's honest.) I'm thinking that Mr. Wildeman is a young adult, because this is something a frat boy would think up. He came up with the idea after he and his buds were joking around about lonely women who were visited by strapping, young delivery boys, and made a delivery of a different sort. And given the fact that 75% of their customers are women (who says that women aren't into porn?), they were right.

I think this is rather a shameless and lewd way to start a business. Sure this marketing stunt will amuse people for a while, and sure, it will enjoy some limited prosperity, but after a while, people will get tired of it. No one will want to associated with such sleaze. People won't want to walk out of a pizza store wearing a raincoat or a wig like they do at adult video stores. Not like I'd know or anything. But as long as there are horny young men with limited social skills ready to gawk at naked hotties, they will always have customers. And it is indeed a success! Big surprise. So much so that there are plans to open franchises all over Canada. So there may just be a Porno Pizza near you soon. So next time you stop over at a buddy's house and grab a slice of his pizza, be careful. That sticky stuff on the crust, may not be cheese.

My thoughts on...celebrity obsession

2007-07-04T15:35:00.000-05:00

Why are people so obsessed with celebrities? Really? I started wondering about this after the whole Paris Hilton media frenzy the other day, which I wanted to post about, but changed my mind in protest to the ridiculous amount of attention she was getting. I mean her release was even covered on Bloomberg! Bloomberg! I know what Paris ate, where she stayed, what she wore, etc after she came out, but I don't know the names of the terrorists involved in the recent attack on London! Whew! Just had to get that out of my system. What good is a blog if you cant use it to rant, huh? And no Madbull, I am not a fan of Paris Hilton. I am the anti-fan. But back to the post? Why do people waste so much time following up of the lives of celebrities? Buying their merchandise, watching their crappy reality shows, watching E!, reading US Weekly, logging on to TMZ.com and other celebrity media sources.

Isn't enough that they have good looks, money, fame, and power. Do they really need your admiration too? Plus nowadays celebrities aren't celebrities anymore. They don't have to accomplish anything to gain a following. In the days of Marilyn Munroe, you had to be something special to be called a celebrity. You had to earn it. I wouldn't have minded celebrity obsession back then. As such, there were about a dozen real celebrities at that time. Nowadays, all you need to do is make a single movie, be on a reality show, or be a rich, young party girl (preferably blonde), and you're in. The media makes celebrities nowadays, not Hollywood. I believe that people keep up with celebrities in order to forget, if even for a moment, the pathetic monotony of their so-called lives. They want to get near to the glitz and the glamour of the beautiful people, the people everyone wants to be like, the people whose every move makes headlines, the people who can spend your entire year's salary without an afterthought. Doesn't matter that the vast majority of these people aren't worth emulating, and would be shunned if they didn't have any money. As long as your name is on enough people's lips long enough, people can't get enough of you.

People are so obsessed with celebrities that it has even become a disease. Actually, it's one of those fake ones, like "Phantom Ring Syndrome" or "Restless Leg Syndrome." It's called CWS, or "Celebrity Worship Syndrome", and it causes depression, addiction and self-image problems. I've discovered a medication to deal with this disorder. It's called Ghetalyphe, and is sold anywhere people socialize. Others have cashed in on people's obsession. The most obvious example are the paparazzi. As for me, this obsession is more of an annoyance than anything else. I'm watching CNN exepcting to hear about some war overseas and I hear about who's the new it-couple. People, here's a thought. If you spent a fraction of the time you now spend keeping up with celebs and actually worked on improving your lot in life, maybe you would some glitz and glamour of your own, instead of hoping that some of Jessica Alba or whichever celeb you shamelessly follow will rub off on you. And one other thing, many of these celebrities are not really happy. don't let their on-camera smiles fool you. Most are dying inside. Why do you think many of them use drugs? I guess we all need a little escape huh?

P.S. Happy Fourth of July to all my American readers! Now pig out on hot dogs and get even fatter!

My thoughts on...the Spice Girls reunion tour

2007-06-29T18:35:00.000-05:00

With money from alimony and child support suits seemingly unable to sate their appetites, the Spice Girls have reunited for a world tour. Try to contain your enthusiasm. Five years ago, this would've been news, but no one nowadays. The headlines are now dominated by the iPhone and Par...FIGHT IT! Want proof that no one cares? I read the original article on Yahoo! News. At the time, it had NO ratings. None. Ouch! The "girls" have been busy being mothers since the '90s, with Baby Spice pulling a Beyonce and going solo, with lackluster results. In their interview, they keep on talking about doing this for "their fans." Oy vey!

Girls (and I use the term loosely), the ladies in your lamaze class and your kids' PTA meetings aren't a large enough fanbase for a world tour. If you want this to be a success, you've gotta build up some publicity. Why not act ditzy, drive with an expired licence, have a mockery of a trial, get thrown in prison, act up while in said prison, and bam! The media'll be putty in your hands once you get out! Just ask Par...ri...ri...RESIST HER DARK HOLD OVER THE MEDIA! YOU'RE ALMOST THROUGH THE POST! The Girls are also going to make a documentary. (I thought that's what Spiceworld was?). Their show will span the world, from Argentina to Australia, so all eleven of their fans worldwide can join in. Phew! Made it! And without having mentioned Paris Hilton.
...
NOOOOOO!

My thoughts on...Chris Benoit's death

2007-06-27T16:29:00.000-05:00

I heard the news yesterday on UNLOADED. Ricardo posted about Chris Benoit's death. At the time, he was unsure if Chris was the one who did it. As shocked as I was, I hoped that he wasn't the culprit, that some Cho Seung-Hui type madman committed the dirty deed.

Well guess what?

Chris was that Cho Seung-Hui type madman.

I'm not much of a wrestling fan, much less a Chris Benoit fan, but a murder like this would shock anyone. In fact, a wrestling death hasn't touched me this much since Owen Hart's. There's a painful irony in all of this. Not long before, Vince McMahon faked his own death (in another of his publicity stunts). And now, an actual death in the wrestling arena. Only God knows what kind of demons had possessed to do such as terrible deed. He must've been suffering some sort of mental distress, but given the "invincible" image wrestlers are supposed to portray, I think he felt pressured not to seek help, as that would damage his image.

The media has been trying to sensationalize this story, trying to attribute it to "'roid rage." Not haemorroids. Steroids. Unbelievable! Still, modern media is all about the ratings. Though drugs he was taking probably influenced his actions, evidence suggests that the murder was premeditated. None of this is true of course. Despite all this, I can't bring myself to hate him. Instead I pity him. I just do.

My thoughts on...drinking

2007-06-26T14:29:00.001-05:00

We've all done it, at one time or another. From imbibing to getting totally wasted, whichever end of the spectrum we frequent, we've all consumed some alcohol. And no, drinking Mom's sorrel doesn't count. I'm talking about liquor. Personally I find myself on the lower end. I hold a sort of hatred towards alcohol. It was developed over years of seeing drunken old men at the local bar, slurring, urinating on themselves and making brazen remarks about the barmaids. This blatant lack of self control made me promise myself that I would never overindulge in any strong brew. Threats by my friends to spike my drinks whenever I came to one of their parties didn't help much either.

Now, in college, many of the major sessions my fellow students attend are sponsored by Appleton, and always feature some kind of malt liquor like Smirnoff Black Ice. This reminds me of a documentary, or a news special. I forget which. Anyway, it spoke of Big Alcohol using these sweet and colourful malt beverages as a gateway to alcoholism. I never saw it again after that. Guess some alcohol exec had it killed. And guess what? Their plan worked like a charm! Every party you go now has to have hard liquor present. It's almost as if socialization cannot take place without the presence of alcohol. And with the "drink responsibly" campaign, alcohol seems to have been declawed in the eyes of the youth.

I was part of a crew serving refreshments during a recent campus event, and a guy asked if we had alcohol. I said no, we only have soft drinks and water. the guy looked at me as if I was offering him something from the toilet. Yes. It's that's bad! So being a pawn of the alcohol execs: not for me! But I have lighten on my stance over the years, as in all things, even alcohol, it all comes down to moderation. My fellow bloggers MadBull and Dr. D knock back a few every once in a while and they don't seem the worse for it. So I still hate alcohol and its cirrhosis-causing, dignity-stealing ways, but if I stay within my limits, I should be okay. That doesn't give me much room, 'cause I'm a lightweight, as those who know my sorrel story will attest.

Will I be a multimillionaire?

2007-06-25T18:39:00.000-05:00

Your Chances of Being a Multimillionaire: 92%

It's almost certain you'll be a multimillionaire. Just keep doing what you're doing.

You are good with money, a creative thinker, and an ethical person. You might be the next Donald Trump!

Will You Be a Multimillionaire?

Holy crap!

My thoughts on...student-teacher "relations"

2007-06-21T14:42:00.000-05:00

I was reading some wacky news, just for entertainment's sake, when I came across an article about a teacher having sex with a student. Wait! Before you close the browser window, here's the kicker. The kid was dating her daughter as well. Nice! The kid's dad gave the teacher a restraining order to the teacher (and a high five to his son). The football coach was sickened by incident. (Yeah, sickened that a little runt like him succeeded where he failed). That picture isn't one of her by the way.

Stories of teachers taking their relationships with their students outside of the classroom and into the bedroom are a dime a dozen nowadays. The first earth-shattering one was the Mary-Kay Letourneau case. If this happened back then, people would be mortified and questioning amongst themselves when society would completely descend into chaos. Nowadays, meh. What's else is on? The most recent shocker was the Debra Lafave case. She got a light sentence, because let's face it, a girl that hot couldn't have taken a liason with that little squirt seriously (ever realize that most of the offenders are hella ugly?). Or could she?

I have to wonder why cases like these are happening so frequently? Why are American teachers having sex with their students? I should say teachers in general, as it happens in Jamaica too. But you hear of it a lot less. Maybe it's because the teachers that hit on the students are mostly male, and the students don't regularly come out and say anything. This is perhaps out of fear or because they don't want to tarnish their lover's (yeah right) reputation. But I can somewhat understand this. Somewhat. If American men are as pathetic as the ones in Knocked Up, American Pie and movies of the like, and if the hormones surging through their veins are enough to cause young girls to look like fully grown ladies, then it's small wonder why teacha' is giving your kid "personal attention" and not you.

Tag! It I am!

2007-06-19T15:12:00.000-05:00

Madbull tagged Abeni, whose tag I took on. Sorry Bobby. You were too late. So without further ado, here are 8 things random things you probably don't know about me.

1. I invent board games in my spare time.
2. I can't tolerate stupid people.
3. I am drawn to The Dark Side.
4. I never saw all of Jaws.
5. I can tell you the square of every number from 1 to 40 out of my head.
6. I once laughed so hard soda came out of my nose...then almost drowned on said soda.
7. Bodily harm is one of the few things that makes me laugh.
8. Sorrel made me tipsy once.

C'mon! Take on the challenge (if you're brave enough!)

My thoughts on...Father's Day

2007-06-18T18:18:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, as we all know, was Father's Day. Well if you didn't know I wouldn't be surprised, as Father's Day doesn't get nearly as much press as Mother's Day. But that's mostly the fault of the men, sadly. In Jamaica, a man is supposed to be fruitful and multiply, with as many girls (because a woman wouldn't allow such irresponsible behaviour) as humanly possible. Nothing's said about taking care of them. The result? Hundreds of fatherless children. I heard a teenager complaining over the weekend about her mother wanting a present for Father's Day in addition to Mother's Day. Unfair? Wwhat do you think? My own parents have experienced the lack of a father figure in their lives, worst of all my father. At least my mother can point out her dad's whereabouts on a globe.

Despite all this, the media still gave dads their props. Except for one channel (as far as I know), Lifetime. Yesterday I didn't see them acknowledge fathers in any way. Guess they came into this world via asexual reproduction. In fact, they had some "I am woman, hear me roar" thing going on over the weekend. guess they couldn't bring themselves to admit that not all men are self-centered, egotistical bastards. As I get older, and realize the bad on my side of species Homo Sapiens, the more I appreciate my father. I now realize it's not about having a father that gives you everything, but one that cares enough to try. I also realize how much I take after my father, without making a conscious effort to. Here's to you dad, and all the other fathers out there. Moms sure can try, but not even they can replace you.

My thoughts on...Lisa Hanna's entry into politics

2007-06-15T16:46:00.001-05:00

Yes, it's election time here in Jamdown. There are political rallies every other week now, pollsters are stumbling over each other to see who is most accurate, and of course promises, name calling and back-biting galore. In the midst of all this, former beauty queen Lisa Hanna planned to make her debut in Jamaican politics. It caused quite a controversy indeed. She hoped to replace Aloun Assamba as PNP candidate for South East St. Ann. She'd be my last choice for a politician, because she has had absolutely no political experience, and before being wooed by the PNP, she wasn't even affiliated with any political party. So why would the PNP choose her? Simple. Because people like her. Most Jamaicans don't seem to vote with their heads, but rather with their hearts. Then again, the majority of die-hard political supporters are the poor and illiterate masses, who aren't intelligent enough to objectively analyse the issues.

Charisma is the name of the game, and Lisa's got that in spades. Plus she's got that winning smile. Oh that smile. And with the threat of a JLP victory looming over their heads, the PNP needs all the winners they can get. In addition to her, they wooed DB&G's Peter Bunting to be their candidate for Central Manchester. But it wasn't her appointment that caused the controversy. It was the overwhelming lack of support Assamba's supporters gave her. In their view, she was unfit because she didn't come from their area. Again, unable to view things objectively. What a trite and totally stupid reason! But they accepted her with open arms once Portia gave her the nod. Surrender your convictions because of the urging of your party leader, to whom you shouldn't have any concrete loyalty to? Dance puppets, dance. I hope Miss Hanna does well in her new post. one thing still bugs me though. Did she do this just to spite her ex-husband, ex-JLP senator David Panton?

My thoughts on...International Weblogger's Day '07

2007-06-14T18:28:00.000-05:00

Break out the bubbly, fellow bloggers! Today is International Weblogger's Day, so go ahead, pat yourself on the back for your contributions to the blogosphere. The good ones anyway, not those "YouTube" blogs. Aside from my birthday, this is the closest I have to a personal holiday as I'm not a father or a mother. I checked my inbox this morning and there it was, an email informing me of the date and inviting me to post about the day. I'm still wondering how they got my Hotmail address and not my GMail address, the one I use on my blog. This made me feel a bit special and things like this are perks to blogging.

I haven't gotten any as of late, as I feel as if I am giving more to blogging than I am getting in return. I spend hours brainstorming and scan various news sites just to come up with a single post. And since I don't have Internet access (yet), I have to walk 15 minutes from home to use a cybercafe. And after I post, I have to comment on 4 or so blogs just to get a comment on that post. My site stats are a lie because 80% of my "readers" are actually surfers on blog exchanges, who only stick around for the required 30 seconds. No wonder I haven't been motivated to post much lately. Well today I looked at the number of posts for June and realized that I only posted 4 for the month, and today's the 14! That and today's date made me renew my commitment to blogging. That special email made me realize that I am still important in the blogosphere, and my voice should remain strong. Happy International Weblogger's Day!

My thoughts on...Microsoft Surface

2007-06-08T17:07:00.000-05:00

Remember in Minority Report, when that whackjob Tom Cruise was moving around those computer windows with just his hands? Pretty cool, wasn't it? Well that technology is here today.

Or at least that's what Microsoft wants you to think.

They have invented a new way to interface with your computer, called Surface. It allows you to move objects on the screen with just your fingers. No mouse, no keyboard. "It's a touchscreen. Big deal!," you might say. I did too, but it's a bit more, and trust me, there's no one more anti-Microsoft than me. Surface senses multiple points of contact, unlike a touchscreen which senses only one, as demonstrated in a demo where you can use both fingers to stretch and rotate a picture. It can also read barcodes and credit cards. It's an interesting device, I must say. But in typical Microsoft fashion, they have taken this minor innovation, wrapped it in Apple-like graphics and presented it was the best thing since the Internet.

They call it "A new way to live in the digital world." But if there's one thing I've learned about the tech sector, is that it's not neccessarily about innovation, but the perception of it. But it's understandable why Microsoft would want to overhype their little invention, though no one seems to care. Microsoft hasn't had much to brag about lately. Apple, their nearest competition, seems to be outperforming them in every way (except on the desktop side of course). Apple's stock is rising while Microsoft's is falling, the Zune is collecting dust on store shelves, MSN Soapbox is a joke, Firefox is eating away IE's market share, Billy G is leaving the company, and even the Surface is being overshadowed by the impending release of the iPhone. And don't get me started on Vista.

But even if you want to get your hands on one, they're going for US$5,000 to US$10,000 each, and more than likely you don't have that kind of money lying around. That's why they're targeting big businesses, such as hotels, casinos, restaurants, stores and the like. And by the time technology costs drive it down, your grandchildren will be using it. It's nice to dream though isn't it?

My thoughts on...the Thundercats movie

2007-06-07T18:14:00.000-05:00

Transformers is set to hit theatres this July, but another oldie but goodie is poised to hit the big screen. Warner Bros. has plans to make a live action Thundercats movie. Yahoo! Oh, sorry. That's copyrighted. I've heard rumours of a Thundercats movie for years, and I'm finally glad it's coming to the big screen. Not so sure live action is the way to go. I mean, which actor can pull off Lion-O's orange hair, much less his character? the date of release has not been announced as yet, so it will be a while before we see Mumm-Ra get his ass handed to him by Lion-O, Panthra, Cheeetara and the others, though it seems as it will be coming after the He-Man movie. First Transformers, then He-Man, now this. What's next, the SilverHawks movie? Hollywood is obviously trying to make money off our childhood memories. I have no problem with that, as long as they do them justice.

My thoughts on...Paris Hilton doing time

2007-06-06T17:28:00.001-05:00

Y'all must be mighty pissed at the length of time that I've been absent from my blog. Truth is, I've been quite busy the past few days. But enough. Plus I've got a bad case of blogger's block. Enough apologizing. Back to the post. Some time back I spoke of Paris Hilton being sent to jail for 45 days. Well her time officially began on Monday. She traded in her designer clothing for a drab orange uniform, took her mugshot and went to her cell, with surprisingly no complaint. But that doesn't mean she was treated like an ordinary prisoner. She was exempted from a cavity search and was allowed to keep her makeup on during the mugshot. And have you seen her prison cell? It's cleaner than most living rooms! And this is no exaggeration. I didn't see a spot of the walls. It was as if they renovated the cell especially for her. She even has a metal toilet. Guess ceramic isn't good enough for her perfectly pampered bum.

You'd expect 26-year old Paris to finally kick into adult gear and take responsibility for her actions. But she's still whining like a 12-year old. She says she's scared, complains that the cell is "freezing cold", hasn't slept or eaten, and is worried about a staph infection outbreak there. Lemme get this straight. She arrives in prison and there's suddenly an infectious outbreak? Hmmm. They even called in an emergency psychiatrist to deal with the "trauma." Heck, even when in prison, she's still the center of attention. She's got fans there chanting her name, and instead of throwing a wrench in the Paris Hilton media machine, it's working overtime, as the press can't get enough of Hilton's "hell-on-earth." And after all this, she may be released 23 days for good behaviour. I have a funny feeling that this won't change her behaviour much. It'll probably be an experience for her to write another bad song or book about.

My thoughts on...the Great Firewall of China

2007-06-01T11:56:00.001-05:00

I encountered this site the other day, and I thought it was cool enough to share with you. Greatfirewallofchina.org checks your URL to see if your site is blocked in China. As you know, or should know, the Chinese government hates free speech, so blogs are pretty much public enemy No. 1 when it comes to censorship. I entered my URL and lo and behold, it was blocked! I actually felt good, like a crusader for free speech or something. But just when I thought those commies had it out for me in particular, turns out that all Blogger blogs are blocked. So if you have a Blogspot blog, no mystery as to whether it's blocked or not. Why not try it and post the result?

My thoughts on...Miss Universe 2007

2007-05-31T17:20:00.000-05:00

As we all know, (especially the women), the Miss Universe 2007 pageant took place Sunday night. I tell you, normally in Jamaica everyone would be buzzing with excitement over the pageant. Nowadays, it seems as if people couldn't care less. I guess it seems as if the euphoria for Lisa Hanna's win has finally died down. I myself have stopped my habit of watching beauty pageants such as these, as well as Victoria's Secret's fashion shows. Why you may ask? Why would you deprive yourself of the indescribable pleasure of gazing at some of the most beautiful women on Earth? Because I won't be able to get any of them, that's why, and with that fact in mind, watching them is like torture. And don't say, "Leon, yes you can. All you need to do is try hard enough." Please. You'll need to make seven figures a year just to get a shot at their numbers, worse they've gotten nominated to this level.

Anyway, enough about my unrealized fantasises. I didn't catch much of it to be honest. My dad was channel surfing and saw the competition. I think we caught the semi-finals. We were eagerly searching for Miss Jamaica, but she was nowhere to be found. During the selection process, Miss Brazil was chosen, and dad said, "Why do they always choose those coolie girls?" You'll have to forgive my father. He isn't the most politically correct man. But he does have a point. Most Miss Universe winners tend to have the same look. Long, flowing hair, slender physiques, straight noses, legs for miles and other European features. Against such expectations, I wonder if Misses Jamaica and Tanzania really stood a chance or were destined to fail from the start, being no more than passing quirks.

This pageant was more eventful than most (I heard), as Miss USA slipped and fell and was jeered by the Mexicans, (couldn't they have left the immigration debate out of it?). Miss Sweden declined on the grounds that it "debases women." Most feminists aren't hot, so she probably wouldn't have won anyway. And Miss Mexico had some brutal images of some longtime religious uprising. Surprisingly, they were found to be in bad taste. Congrats to Miss Japan, 20-year old Riyo Mori. As a child, her grandma wanted her to win the crown before she turned 20. Glad to see both their dreams realized. Gives you a little motivation to pursue your own. Hope you represent your country and the title well.

My thoughts on...the Windies' record test loss

2007-05-30T16:36:00.000-05:00

Just when you thought they couldn't get any more "wukliss." The West Indies were crushed by the English, losing by a whopping 283 runs, the heaviest loss since 50 years ago. Dear God! How much must we as West Indians take? Really? After their clearly subpar performance at the Cricket World Cup, this happens? Sometimes I wonder if we should just drop cricket like we're dropping the sugar industry. Both are vestiges of colonialism. But I dare not say this aloud, as I don't want to be endure a whole heap o' cussin', 'cause, unlike the sugar industry, cricket swims in our very blood.

In their defense, England made an impressive 570 runs. But I didn't expect this, especially after all the talk about revamping the team. And promising young stars like Jerome Taylor and Devon Smith seem to have caught the complacency of the seniors, as they performed pitifully. I don't understand how they can afford to be, as last time I checked, you're normally complacent when you're dominant. In the meantime, George Headley and other cricketing greats roll in their graves.

My thoughts on...the 30th anniversary of Star Wars

2007-05-25T18:08:00.000-05:00

On this day, 30 years ago, we were transported to a galaxy far, far away. A galaxy that featured futuristic technology, colourful aliens, great heroism, and great villainy. And the world was never the same. Yes siree, Star Wars, the greatest science fiction saga of all time (sorry Star Trek) turns 30 today. Star Trek turned 40 last year, so all the greats are celebrating their anniversaries. Imagine, 30 years. 30 years of Star Wars catchphrases, 30 years of Star wars inspired technology, 30 years of stolen social lives, 30 years of rivalry with Star Trek, 30 years of George Lucas getting rich off us all. I am a major Star Wars nerd. Say, a Star Trek fan is called a Trekkie, so what is a Star Wars fan called?

I've remained faithful to the series, despite the introduction of Jar Jar Stinks, despite the merciless commercialization, despite the numerous plot holes, something George should've seen coming. That's what happens when you expand such a complex plot. Star Wars at 30 is coming on G4 tonight, so you know I'm gonna watch. I know, I know, I said they sucked and that I'd stop watching it. But I must admit, it isn't completely unwatchable. Plus, even if it were coming on C-SPAN I'd watch it. I'm especially interested in seeing "The Future of Star Wars." Since the episodes are finished, I'm interested in seeing what Georgie's got up his sleeve. After all these years, the question still remains, which is better, Star Trek or Star Wars? That seems to be a question that will outlive the sagas themselves. Live long and prosper Star Wars. Oops. Sorry. May the Force be with you.

My thoughts on...hot girls, ugly men?

2007-05-22T15:01:00.000-05:00

Today I read one of the most unbelievable articles ever. It had the headline "We only date ugly men." Here's the article if you don't believe me. It talks about women who find muscular good-looking men unattractive. The first thing I thought is, "are these women insane?" You mean to tell me if Brad or Denzel offered themselves to them, they'd turn them down? But actually their reason for loving the not-so-fair fellows makes a lot of sense. Ugly guys, according to them, they harder, are more interesting, perform better in bed and are more intriguing, among other things. And these girls are not desperate or ugly either. These girls are the type that you'd drop your girlfriend for in a minute. Hot, bright eyed blondes with cute smiles. But on some level, I must applaud these women. They are not shallow like most. They are actually able to see beyond to exterior of their potential suitors. I feel a bit betrayed. All the money spent on products to maintain my sexy or improve it, and it turns out that women want the opposite now? The mystery called woman has gotten a lot harder to figure out, gentlemen. Now excuse me. I've got to go knock out some teeth and shave my head.

My thoughts on...ABC's Cavemen

2007-05-21T16:26:00.000-05:00

We all love the GEICO ads. They're funny, original and catchy. And though that loveable gecko with the cockney accent is their mascot, but nowadays GEICO's stars are those poor stereotyped cavemen. The commercials have gained international appeal, and the actors that play them have become celebrities. They've gotten the usual celebrity treatment: being hit on by strange but beautiful women, fansites, global recognition, being starspotted, etc. Now ABC has taken the next logical step to the major success of these ads, and has made...a sitcom? What were they thinking? ABC has made a sitcom based on the GEICO commercials. Yeah, I couldn't believe it too.

A couple things wrong with this show. Firstly, these "cavemen" aren't really cavemen at all. They're just regular people who haven't physically evolved. Takes a lot of the fun out of it doesn't it? And if that isn't bad enough, their names are Joel, Jamie and Nick. Not very caveman-y names at all, are they? This series is supposed to be a statement on race relations. Too serious. This series takes all the fun out of the commercials in an attempt to make it plausible, and if more viewers look forward to commercials than your show, then something is terribly wrong. This shouldn't last more than a month. All I say is, "not cool."

My thoughts on...'The Secret'

2007-05-19T13:44:00.000-05:00

Are you a loser? Can't remember the last time you accomplished anything you desired? Is your life a pit of desperation and frustration? Then you probably have this book on your bookshelf. I've heard about 'The Secret' for some time now. The first time I heard about it was on the Sunday news. Naturally the title got me interested, but all the news article said that the book carried that message that positive thinking gets you results. Cool. I'm all for that. An age old message that I've known for years, but if someone wants to make a couple bucks selling common sense to Americans, then let them go ahead. God knows they need it. It's not until I read an online article about 'The Secret' that I found out everything about the book.

What the book really says is that you can manipulate reality with your mind, so if you see a fancy car you want, boom, the law of the universe grants it to you. just like that. No investing, no job hunting, nothing but the power of your mind. And as preposterous as that may sound to us rational minded people, millions have been buying in on it. 1.5 million DVDs of the movie have been sold and 1.75 million are in print. It even got endorsed by Oprah - twice. And when that happens, you immediately have a millions of middle aged housewives behind your book. All of this bunkus comes from author Rhonda Byrne, who should be rolling in it right now. Her movie, which she dubbed "the greatest film in history to date," didn't do so well in her homeland of Australia.

Enter America, where finding desperate and unhappy people is easier than finding the nearest Starbucks. But what separates this book from countless other self-help books? It's "Da Vinci Code" design and its title. It promises to reveal some mystical and ancient secret, one that greats like Martin Luther King, Einstein, Beethoven and Newton knew about. But it only panders to middle class material desires, and little on benefiting humanity, as these great men did. But I guess it wouldn't be such a success if it didn't push an easy way to get that diamond necklace around your neck or that Lexus in your garage.

Personally, I think this is crap. New Age, pseudospiritual crap. This fodder for the weak-minded only repackages a well-known fact about the power of positive thinking, and this Law of Attraction junk is just something else for people to blame their pathetic little lives on. It's not bad luck, other people or even God why your life is the way it is. It's you. You're the reason you're life sucks. And until you get off your fat ass and do something about it, it will continue to be so. Well, I'm gonna jump off a building now. The Law of Attraction states that as long as I think "marshmallow filled bounce-a-bout," I should be ok. Right?

My thoughts on...Mother's Day

2007-05-17T14:23:00.000-05:00

Mother's Day. The one time of year when mothers get to be appreciated, the one time of year when we stop being such selfish jerks long enough to do so. I was away on the weekend, so I didn't get to give my mom the thanks she truly deserves. All she got from me was a phonecall and a pair of empty hands. Plus I didn't get to go with the family to visit Grandma. Still my mom's cool with it. She isn't too material, unlike these golddigging broads nowadays. And as I've gotten older, I've learned to appreciate more and more what she's done for me. Her kindness, her sacrifice, her morals and her forgiveness.

Oh her forgiveness. I can remember at least half a dozen times when my smart ass attitude should've earned me a smack 'cross the face. But mom would somehow tolerate my behaviour, even though I wouldn't, if in her position. I can remember times when she'd spend her last cent on me, without hesitation, if I truly needed it. In fact, the very trip I told you about wouldn't be possible if she didn't withdraw some money from the ATM to send me. She raised me by example, never compromising what she stood for, even if it caused an undesirable result. She's a truly sweet woman. I've never known her to have an enemy. As I've learned to appreciate her, I've gotten closer to her. Now she feels like (dare I say it?) a friend. When I was little and I was punished, I would imagine what it would be like if I had a different mother. Now I can't imagine having another. Thank you mom, and all others like you.

My thoughts on...2007's summer blockbusters

2007-05-16T15:09:00.000-05:00

Summer. You used to be able to tell that time of year by the intolerable heat and the sudden desire to go to the beach. Not anymore. Nowadays, the best indicator of summer's arrival is the massive influx of big budget movies, and this summer is proving to be one of the biggest ever, with over two dozen movies to be released, most of them sequels. it used to be that the major blockbusters were released near year's, such as was the case with King Kong and Narnia. But the recent trend has been to release them in the summer. All these movies have the potential to be monster hits, as most of them are follow-ups to proven favourites. The harbinger of this box office blitz is Spiderman 3, which opened 12 days ago and has already amassed $632 million worldwide. Not surprising, as it is the most anticipated movie for the summer, according to Yahoo! Here's their list for the top 20 anticipated movies of the summer.

1. Spiderman 3
2. Transformers
3. Shrek the Third
4. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
5. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
6. The Bourne Ultimatum
7. 28 Weeks Later
8. Rush Hour 3
9. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
10. DOA: Dead or Alive
11. Hairspray
12. Nancy Drew
13. The Simpsons Movie
14. Evan Almighty
15. Ocean's Thirteen
16. Live Free or Die Hard
17. Underdog
18. Hostel: Part II
19. Ratatouille
20. Knocked Up

Here are my thoughts on these 20 (the ones I care about anyway). Spiderman 3 is a must see. I plan to post about it during the summer. Transformers. Hell yeah! Besides, the battle between the Autobots and the Decepticons was too big for the small screen anyway. Shrek the Third should be a laugh fest as always. But the whole twisted fairy tale thing is getting kinda old. Happily Never After ruined it for me. Looking forward to Pirates 3, though as far as I'm concerned, Keira Knightley's booty is the only one worth plundering. Order of the Phoenix will change the Harry Potter universe as we know it. How do it know this? Bootleg copy? Yes, but an analog version - called a book. You might wanna try one. The Bourne series is good, but it never quite grabbed me. Ultimatum should be a decent movie and box office success. Never saw 28 Days Later, so I'm not too interested in the sequel. But the hype makes me wanna see the original. Plus summer is the time for romantic flings, and nothing gets a girl in your lap faster (besides money) than watching a scary movie.

Rush Hour 3. Hmm. Wondered what happened to those two? Fantastic Four 2. Besides Jessica Alba in spandex, the second biggest draw of this movie will be the Silver Surfer, who loooks unbeliveably cool. Wonder if Galactus will make an appearance? DOA won't be as big a hit with the fanboys as movie execs would expect, as the movie features real girls, and we all know that fanboys are afraid of real girls. The Simpsons Movie would've been more welcome five or so years ago. But the series is feeling stale nowadays. Now if it were a Family Guy movie... Evan Almighty? Does that jerk from Bruce Almighty get God's powers? And does God go on vacation again? Maybe it's not that God doesn't exist, maybe he's just lazy. Ocean's Thirteen. A star-studded revenge movie. Nice! Live Free or Die Hard. More of Detective McLain simultaneously punching terrorists and the Grim Reaper in their balls.

Ratatouille. For a Pixar movie, this one is woefully underadvertised. But that's ok. Pixar could make an autobiography about their table lamp mascot and still rake in hundreds of millions, despite the fact that their last movie Cars, performed below expectations. But don't worry. Despite the immense competition this summer and the hard to pronounce title, that will hinder spoiled brats from continously nagging their parents about watching it without biting their tongues, as long as Pixar creates cute, colourful and silly characters, the money well will never dry. Right? And on that subject of competition, why are so many movies being released this summer? This is the biggest summer release as far as I remember. Won't the stiff competition mean less returns, especially with juggernauts like Spidey 3 and Transformers about? But let the movie studios worry about that. I can barely find money to buy popcorn and drinks to watch one of these movies, much less the ticket itself.

My thoughts on...Paris Hilton going to jail

2007-05-09T16:23:00.000-05:00

Infamous party girl Paris Hilton has played a farmer and maid on "The Simple Life." But now she's gonna play an even less glamorous role - prison inmate, as she has been sentenced to time in jail for violation of her probation. HALLELUJAH! This is the best story I've heard in a long time. Finally she will suffer the consequences of her actions. And if the way her mother acted in the courtroom is any indication, maybe for the first time in her life. Her mother Kathy laughed during the proceedings and asked the judge for his autograph when he made his ruling. She and her other half are the reason Paris is spoiled rotten like this. I bet when she was little and she kicked a kid and the kid told the teacher, who then gave her detention, her parents sued the school for Paris' emotional distress.

And don't think that she'll be going to any five-star prison like the Hilton *rimshot*. She'll be going to regular prison, where she'll wear an orange jumpsuit, eat food barely fit for human consumption, and stay in an 8-by-12 foot cell, without any of her designer luxuries. Hopefully this will teach her some humility. But will she respect the decision of the court and do her time? Nope. Like any spoiled brat, she'll try to find some means to get her own way. She's started a petition and is turning to the Governator for a pardon. Figures.

My great imperative

2007-05-08T18:40:00.000-05:00

Literary guru, Geoffrey Philip recently tagged me about my great imperative, and, since I love participating in the occasional meme, I accepted his challenge. For those with not-so wide vocabularies, imperative means law or rule (generally). I'd have to say that my great imperative is to succeed, according to my terms. Happiness eludes most of us, so we spend our lives desperately chasing after it. Few find it. For me, success equals happiness. Aside from the accolades and the ego boost, it gives you a sense of accomplishment and purpose, like you're actually doing something worthwhile with your life. We all have dreams. Most of them are shattered by harsh reality.

Who knows? Mine may end up broken as well, but I'll put in a hell of a fight to keep them alive, because a man that doesn't dream doesn't truly live. And even greater is the man that realizes his dreams, as he was able to translate his desires into reality. I already know the ingredients of success. Hard work, perseverance, vision, etc, and I've tried hard to cultivate these values within myself. But it's difficult. But then again, if success was easy, it wouldn't as sweet. I want to leave a great legacy behind. I want the name Leon Leacroft Robinson to live on long after the man has passed. I've been called many names in my 21 years of existence, but there's one thing I don't ever people to call me - failure.

My thoughts on...software piracy

2007-05-05T15:29:00.000-05:00

The other night, last week I think it was, as I sat at my computer typing, I heard on the 8 o'clock news that Jamaica's gonna be cracking down on software piracy. Apparently the U.S. thinks that our government isn't doing enough to battle software piracy, and gave us a low grade on some anti-piracy chart they cooked up. When did it become America's job to judge the world anyway? And as expected, the government reacted, almost instantaneously, which is strange for our government. This, despite the fact that movie piracy in Jamaica has been going on for years. We don't want Mother 'Merica to pry our lips off the nipples of her huge, silicone-filled boobs do we? They vowed to crack down on software piracy, and even came up with an ad.

I saw the ad, which featured people pleading to give them a chance to make a profit off their work. It didn't have the effect on me that the government would've wanted. A cynical grin was my only response. Do they really think that an ad is going to stop us? Show me a Jamaican computer without some form of pirated software, music or movies and I'll show you someone with barely enough tech savvy to operate MS Office. And I'm sure the same is true with computers worlwide. The only way they'd stop us is if they'd drag us all to jail, kicking and screaming. Most of us wouldn't fare well there. Boba_115 would be no match for Bubba. In fact he'd be his bitch almost instantly, losing his dignity and of course, his anal viginity. Talk about being "penalized."

I'm not saying that I've got pirated software on my computer. Then again, I'm not saying I don't. I've read too many stories of bloggers putting their foots in their mouths. And though my blog may not be as popular as theirs, you never know who may be reading. I'm not against software companies making a buck, but $600US for a piece of software in this day and age is just ridiculous. And no, it won't make your software seem "elite" if its overpriced, it will just lead to it getting cracked. People are getting smarter...well, not everyone, considering the bull that goes on everyday. Mostly geeks, and we were pretty smart to begin with. People aren't gonna drop a fistful of cash to purchase a piece of software as they once did. The P2P and Open Source movements have grown in popularity, meaning that people are far less willing to shell out cash for software. But software companies don't want to let go of their profit margins, even though technology costs go down.

I say to you software companies, be more flexible. Demos are a start yes, but most demos are 30 days long, and the average computer user isn't going to get much use out of that. Give us free versions of your commercial software with limited capability but with unlimited use, like AVG. I use AVG, and it's excellent. I wouldn't be against buying the commercial version. That's because I have developed a love for the software, something that can't be done in 30 days. Or better yet, turn your whole operation open source. Linux and Mozilla are open source, and they're faring a hell of a lot better than those no name software companies who charge you $25US for software that merely simplifies complex system tasks. We geeks are a passionate set, and we love open source/free software, and we'll be the first ones to reccommend them to a friend. But if you decide to be all greedy and inflexible, trust me, we'll find a way around you and your pathetic "security measures." Plus crackers are both celebrities and heroes in geek culture, an added motive to crack software. So despite the increasingly complex software restrictions, threatening lawsuits, and complaints about dwindling profits, software piracy will continue. Deal with it.

My thoughts on...the 25th anniversary of spam

2007-05-04T17:04:00.000-05:00

Cialis, Viagra, weight loss, refinance, online degree, etc. Recognize these anyone? Of course you do. They are the calling cards of that scourge of the inbox, spam. And guess what? Wednesday was its 25th anniversary. But none of us are in a celebratory mood. The first spam message was sent in 1978, back when the Internet was ARPANET by Gary Thuerk, a marketer for DEC. It was about an open house to show off the new Dec-20 computer. I was hoping that a bunch of geeks would get together and "thank" the company by flooding their inbox with spam. But it turns out that DEC no longer exists, and not because the tech community shunned them. They were bought by Compaq, which was then bought by HP. In Gary's defense, spam didn't exist back then. In fact, spam was used to refer to junk email around 15 years later.

How did it get associated with canned ham? It all started with a Monty Python sketch set in a restaurant where everything on the menu was made from SPAM. In the 80s, abusive users of MUDs would type "SPAM" constantly to scroll other users' text off the screen. Eventually posting of junk messages became known as spamming, and thanks to the ruthless wave of commercial junk mail in the 90s, spam has now become mainly associated with email. I heard Hormel griping about their product being associated with unwanted email a while back. Guess they finally wised up and saw the publicity oppurtunity. Just about every nation on earth gets junk mail, so just about every nation on earth knows about spam.

Spam's family has grown over the years. Its wife, Mrs. Phish, son Virus, daughter Pop-up, and of course, cousin 419, all the way from Nigeria. So why hasn't anyone stopped spam? Mainly because of it's so hard to define and freedom of speech issues. No one wants spam, but everyone would fight an attempt to censor the Internet. And you'd be surprised at how many people can't find their inbox's built-in spam blocker. People are really that dim. Will spam ever end? Most likely not. Spammers are using more vicious ways to get around spam blockers, such as using wi-fi networks and worms. After all, a sucker's born every minute, and cashing in on their gullibility could be as easy as clicking "Send".

My thoughts on...my 300th post

2007-05-03T17:50:00.000-05:00

My exams have offically ended. Feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My mind is now free to focus on my blog posts, so those who were left hungry after my absence, ye shall be filled this summer.

Wow. Time flies doesn't it? I'm now at my 300th post, and while the occasion is not as epic as the movie (God I hope they don't sue me for manipulating their graphic), it is quite a milestone. Thank you my loyal readers to staying with me. I know there are tons of blogs out there, 71 million in fact. Yeah I know, the majority of them are crap, but still thanks for staying with me. I know many blog readers are fickle, deserting the blog after a day or two of no posts. Thank you for understanding that I too have a life outside of sitting at my computer composing posts.

Thank you for your comments. They keep me posting knowing that my blog's being read by actual people, and for me, are worth more than mere hits. As for me, I've voiced my thoughts on several things since late 2005, and it will be a challenge to keep my writing style fresh after all these posts. But with new subjects popping up each day, new things to poke fun at, and armed with my own creativity, I'm confident I will continue to find interesting perspectives on various things. Thank you and God bless.

My thoughts on...prehistoric passion

2007-05-02T17:18:00.000-05:00

Sorry about my recent absences guys. Its just that I have exams now, I've been studying like crazy. But don't worry. Exams finish tomorrow, so I should be back on schedule then. Here's an interesting bit of news I heard the other day. Archaeologists say that prehistoric man had sex for fun, and stuff like group sex, transvestism, bondage and sex which we modern man thought we came up with actually originated with them. Looks like Fred and Barney were just as freaky as us. They've found a 30,000 year old statue of a naked woman (the first sex symbol) and a stone phallus around the same age (the first dildo) in a German cave (where else?).

I wonder if they've got a cave drawing of the act. That would make it the first porno movie. But I don't think those scientists should congratulate themselves too much. Sure, our ancient ancestors weren't exactly brain surgeons, but they should've had enough sense to understand the pleasures of sex. And Og probably stuck his skin club into every fleshy crevice he could find, in search of that pleasure. Besides, they had to find something to do while hiding in caves trying not to get eaten by dinos. Hopefully news of this will help the Geico cavemen get some tail, after all the emotional distress they've been through.

My thoughts on...Earth 2.0

2007-04-27T16:17:00.000-05:00

Tired of the same old Earth? Want a bigger, better Earth, with new frontiers to explore? Well wait no longer! Introducing Earth 2.0, now with pop-up blocker! It's been the biggest news story since Virginia Tech. A new earth like planet, Gliese 581 C, has been located outside the solar stystem, in the constellation Libra. It is 50% larger than Earth, may have a rocky surface like Earth's and may have liquid water on its surface. Screw Al Gore and his global warming talk! We've got a backup world now, so when this one is destroyed, (which is almost certain due to corporate greed and public indifference) we can take the nearest starship to that one and begin its destruction!

But curb your enthusiasm for a minute. All this excitement over this new world, yet no one has considered the fact that there may be aliens over there. There may be giant killer bugs there like in Starship Troopers, big headed Martianesque aliens like in Mars Attacks!, or Orion slave girls like in Star Trek...with killer STDs, dozens of times more potent than what Paris Hilton's got festering in her crotch right now! It's 20.5 light years away, so were not gonna be visiting there any time soon. In fact, there's a very strong possibility that our descendants will explore that strange new world, that is, unless humanity destroys itself first. Let's hope we develop warp drive before we're forced to evolve gills.

And another thing, Gliese 581 C orbits its sun every 13 days, so in a standard Earth year, you'd be 28 years older! Gonna be awkward for people living on that planet. The kids won't mind, as they'll have a birthday every fortnight. Plus it's scientists' job to dish out theories, probabilities and other impractical junk just to justify the massive budgets they get. I've heard tons of exciting news about possible scientific breakthroughs, but I've rarely seen any of them become reality. So until I set foot on that planet (which I probably won't), I'll file this in the "What if?" section.

My thoughts on...Amsterdam's tribute to prostitutes

2007-04-25T11:30:00.000-05:00

Amsterdam, the stoner and john capital of the world (no wonder the Dutch are such a mellow people). You'd think that it couldn't get any more liberal...until now. Amsterdam's Red Light District now features a statue in honor of prostitutes, sculpted by a former prostitute. Guess it takes one to sculpt one. The statue is meant to show respect to the ladies of the night. Yeah, good luck with that. I don't think prostitute will rank up there with doctor, lawyer, accountant or other notable professions. I can see it now. "Mommy, Daddy. I wanna be a prostitute when I grow up. It's something I enjoy and it's something I'm really good at."

The statue, named Belle, features a full-breasted woman (what else?) feet apart and standing at a doorway, undoubtedly waiting for her next customer. And it stands in front of the Oude Kerk, Amsterdam's oldest church. Makes sense, because Christianity and whoredom obviously mix. Belle is fortified with steel to prevent ~~humping~~ vandalism, and perched on a pedestal to prevent ~~jacking off~~ peeing. Hours before its unveiling, an old woman attacked Mariska Majoor, the woman that commissioned its design because she was unhappy about it being so close to her home. Guess she was affraid that people would come knocking asking to borrow some brown sugar, and no, not the one that fits in a cup. One question: Are they friggin' high? No. wait...

My thoughts on...the return of Heroes

2007-04-24T18:28:00.000-05:00

I'm a big Heroes fan. Ever since the show began, I've been faithfully keeping track of our favourite superpowered team of misfits, watching them slowly master their powers, become a team, encounter their first threat and discover their destiny. That is, until the first break. Then I got used to the show's absence, and watching Heroes became lower and lower on my list of priorities, until I stopped watching it altogether. Star Trek: Enterprise mondays on Sci-Fi din't make things better either. But now Heroes is back, and I can finally catch up with the series. I know I've missed them saving the cheerleader (shouldn't have been too hard given the fact that she's indestructible and all), but now I get to see them save the world.

Hopefully there'll be more action, as they've passed through the awkward phase of superty, and perhaps the question I've had since the show aired will be answered: tights or no tights? That question wasn't answered in last night's episode, but that didn't make it any less interesting. The plot has advanced a lot. I can barely keep up, but that's nothing an hour or two on YouTube can't fix. Issac fell by the hand of Sylar, Peter's saved by Claire, Hiro and his sidekick visit 5 years in the future and Niki and D.L. are still arguing over Micah, making it an episode more thrilling than most. As usual, they end with a cliffhanger, raising questions about what would happen should the heroes fail. One thing's for certain, I'm back on the Heroes train. Sorry Enterprise. Besides, you're cancelled anyway.

My thoughts on...swearing

2007-04-23T12:03:00.000-05:00

Do you realize that just about everyone's swearing nowadays? From the old to the young, everyone's mouth needs to be washed out with soap. It used to be that people used to swear when they were in pain or something went terribly wrong. Then people started swearing to bring their point across. To heck with constructing a convincing argument. There's no time for that in today's fast-paced world. Just throw in a "f%$king" and people know you mean business. Nowadays people just swear for the heck of it. I mean why not? Like the great philosopher Eric Cartman said, "it don't hurt nobody." Plus everyone wants to prove that they've got edge and attitude, and there's no better way to do that than sound like a drunken sailor with Tourette's syndrome. I experience it a lot at university. Students, armed with their newfound freedom and bent on proving their "maturity," belt out badwords for absolutely no reason, and I have to deal with it every day.

I for one don't swear (not regularly anyway). Not saying I never told someone off, but I can can't remember the last time I swore. That's how infrequently I do it. That's how I was raised. My parents put great restraint on their tongues and so do I, especially my dad. Not like I'm totally against swearing. I welcome them when they're used creatively. But I fucking hate it when people swear just because they can. It's rather inconsiderate. Oh shit! Now I'm doing it! Aaah! While we're on the topic of swearing, here are some interesting curses. You have bomboclaat, which is indigenous to Jamaica. F-you in Spanish is "corijo tu," in French it's "baise-toi." If you're Jewish, it's "fegg di" in German. And, in these times of terrorism, you can say "aneekak" in Arabic, so you can say "Hi Mom" while you're the star of Al-Qaeda's next video, starring as the soon-to-be-executed infidel.

My thoughts on...Brian Lara's retirement

2007-04-21T17:00:00.000-05:00

A long time ago, a young man from Trinidad decided to ty his hand at cricketing. And try he did. Eventually he made quite a name for himself, earning many awards, accolades, and undoubtedly women. And for a while, all seemed well. Then came Cricket World Cup 2007, where his home team ~~sucked beyond mortal comprehension~~ performed poorly, failing an entire region. He and his teamates are now demonized, where they were once beloved. That's when he decided enough was enough. So Brian Charles Lara offically announced his retirement from cricket. Initially he announced he would retire from Test cricket, but I guess this wasn't enough to appease the wrath of his fellow West Indians. So he threw in the towel fully. I can't understand why he'd want to end his career on 299 matches. Why not round it out at 300? I guess he couldn't wait.

I wonder what's going to happen to the West Indies team. Lara was the superstar of the team, drawing crowds and cheers. But now that he's announced his retirement, and given the massive failure of the Windies, will anyone watch them play now? Surely you'll have your die hard fans, but the majority of west Indians would rather tune in to championship curling than watch the Windies play. Their fault anyway. Incompetence breeds indifference. Still, despite his failures, he was undeniably a great batsman, and the sport won't be the same without him. Goodbye Brian. The flight to Cancun should be leaving shortly.

My thoughts on...the Virginia Tech Massacre

2007-04-20T18:27:00.000-05:00

The biggest news to hit the airwaves in the past couple days is the Virginia Tech Massacre, in which 32 college students and faculty members fell at the hands of a madman. Columbine ain't got nothing on this, and when it is mentioned, it will be in comparison to Viginia Tech. Such random and meaningless loss of life is always saddening, worse when you read the victims' profiles and discover the people behind the photos. It hits closer to home for me as I am a university student.

The perpetrator, Cho Seung-Hui, denied families of the deceased teh pleasure of seeing him brought to justice when he killed himself. I guess that's why all these wacko killers smoke themselves, or maybe they're just afraid of the consequences of their actions. Learning about him makes you discover just how truly disturbed he was. His plays "Mr. Brownstone" and "Richard McBeef" give you a clear view inside his twisted mind. They feature language, use of weapons and violence that would shock even the most hardened soul. He rarely spoke in class, he stalked women, especially Emily Hilscher who rejected him and, not surprisingly, became his first victim.

People are now pointing fingers to the powers that be as to why he wasn't given any help, what motivated him to do something so evil, why the university didn't act sooner to alert students, etc. I don't really pay attention to all that, because its easy to speculate after such an event, as hindsight is after 20/20 after all. Right now everyone sees Cho as evil incarnate, but I see him as a young man with a hard life, one with very little, if any, happiness in it. He was angry and frustrated, mainly because of the rich kids that teased him for being so quiet, and had no positive means to relase that anger. He didn't connect emotionally with other people, and the one time he tried, he was shot down. Emily probably rejected him for some fickle reason, as college girls often do. Little did she know what damage that would do to him.

Perhaps you are wondering how I can empathize with such a monster. But we must not forget that he was also a human being, and if we can gain a bit of insight as to what motivated him, maybe we can stop future Virginia Tech Massacres from happening. This incident has also caused me to think about my own life. Most of the victims' profiles are around a paragraph long, but you have a few one-liners. Which makes me wonder what my profile would be like? It certainly wouldn't be a one-liner, I can tell you. But it has motivated me further to live a life worth remembering, as you never know when it can be taken.

My thoughts on...the Jesus Christ action figure

2007-04-18T16:56:00.000-05:00

Old hotness: W.W.J.D. bracelets. New hotness: Jesus Christ...action figures? Yes Fishermen Inc. plans to take advantage of people's most sacred beliefs, I mean, give a modern interpretation to this most recognizable of figures by releasing their line of "I Am" action figures. Well, they're actually figurines, but I'm calling them action figures, as figurines are only to keep little old ladies company to fill the void of their children deserting them. Forget miracles, great teachings and founding the world's largest religion. You know you've achieved true greatness when you've been turned into an action figure.

The "I Am" figurines feature modern interpretations of our Lord and Saviour. "I Am Freedom" features Jesus wearing jeans on a chopper. You can't make this stuff up. "I Am Victory" has him doing a bicycle kick in a soccer uniform. "I Am Peace" shows Jesus in military gear, holding a dove in one hand. "I Am Hope" has Jesus dressed as a homeless man carrying a "Will Work 4 Food sign." "I Am Strength" has him riding a bucking bull with a cowboy hat in his hand. "I Am Faith" features Jesus scrambling with a football. (Couldn't Jesus just be himself for this one?) "I Am Spirit" has Jesus surfing, shooting a curl. "I Am Youth" is a skateboarding Jesus and finally you have "I Am Life," showing a rock-climbing Jesus hanging from a cliff. There have been requests for a rock-star Jesus, but I don't think a "I Am Debauchery" would fit in with the character's image. Blasphemous or brilliant? You decide. Each comes with a Darwin action figure, with faith-crushing action! Ok you got me. But you gotta admit, it would be cool if they did.

My thoughts on...the Spiderman 3 hype

2007-04-16T15:07:00.000-05:00

Spiderman 3 is opening May 4th, and the hype is so overwhelming you can almost taste it. Well actually you can taste it, thanks to the masive merchandising blitz surrounding the movie. I'd try to name a few the Spidey themed products, but that would need a post by itself. You have cable. You know what I'm talking about. Nearly everything imaginable has been "spidified." I'm surprised the game hasn't come out yet, but they'll probably want to package the game and the movie, as comic book movies do a lot nowadays. Sony built up the hype rather cleverly. Ever since news of the movie's production came out, they've been giving us little bits of information, constantly teasing us like we were hungry dogs with their black, slime covered steak. And we took the bait. We speculated about which villains would be in the movie, who would play who, what would the plot be like. All the while blogging, making YouTube videos, IMing, chatting with our friends, unknowingly powering the hype. My friends and I were chatting about it the other day (same thing) and some of them said that they weren't gonna watch it as Jake Gyllenhaal (of Brokeback Mountain fame) was going to play Spidey. The rest of us had to correct them. I think that's quite immature. They're called actors for a reason, and just because they play one role that might not agree with you doesn't mean that should have any impact on any of their other roles.

The reason I think the Spiderman movie franchise has become so successful, apart from Kirsten Dunst's wet bosom, is the fact that he's a superhero that's just like us, which was the draw of the comic as well. He gets bullied, tries to get the attention of the girl next door, goes through money problems, etc. It also us that there are consequences for a superhero's actions, shattering the illusion that a superhero's life is just about colorful tights, public adoration and saving the girl. That why Spidey 3's box office haul should overshadow that of those giant robots and that teen wizard. Makes you wonder why Toby Maguire would want to leave such a lucrative franchise. Guess he doesn't want to be typecast as the webslinger. Most movies overhyped like this collapse under the weight of their own hype, ending up like a black hole (for the movie studio's pockets anyway). I don't think that this will be the case with Spiderman 3. The supervillain trifecta is the biggest draw for me, but I don't sense any more depth to the plot besides Peter's brush with the dark side. Hopefully I'm wrong. Spiderman seems to be the only Marvel franchise able to keep up with DC's Superman and Batman movies in terms of longevity. But before we speculate, let's see if it can run the third lap successfully.

My thoughts on...Friday the 13th

2007-04-14T14:20:00.000-05:00

Hey folks. As you all know by now, yesterday was Friday the 13th, and no that wasn't the reason why I didn't post yesterday. Its not like I was afraid that my computer would blow up in my face or something. I just didn't want to sit around a computer yesterday, save for entertainment, as I had two assignments to complete, one of which kept me up 'til 4 in the morning. So my mind was obviously on other things. I've now decided to dedicate this post to that most special of days - Friday the 13th.

When I was little, Friday the 13th used to fill me with dread. I would check the calendar and mark off those days and make sure that I did as little risk taking as possible on those days. I'd be afraid of everything, especially crossing the street. The only thing I'd look forward to was all the scary movies they'd show that night. I'd watch 'til morning, mainly because I'd be too afraid to sleep. Now, several Jason and Chucky reruns later, I realise that there is no such thing as luck, only chance and opportunity. Still I wish people good luck on exams (It's the thought that counts). Here's an interesting fact: Did you know that the fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskavedekatriaphobia? You can find more interesting facts on its Wikipedia page, which are sure to keep you trembling in fear underneath your bedsheets even longer.

But why should you be? Why should any rational person fear the random occurence of the thirteen day falling on a Friday? I went through the day unscathed. The only thing close to an "unlucky" event was a grey cat crossing my path. Grey, not black. Wait a minute. Something unfortunate did happen yesterday. My group partner submitted one of my two final assignments late, two hours after the office closed, on the final day of school! Still, she wanted to handle the bulk of the work. If I did it, it would've been sent in long before. Simply imcompetence, not bad luck. I also lost my glasses this morning, and up 'til now I haven't found them. A friend of mine said that since it was a grey cat that crossed my path, the effect of the bad luck was probably delayed. Could it be? Nah! Just co-incidence. Right?

P.S. I got blogspotted for the first time on Tuesday. An old high school friend said he read my blog. I'm getting noticed. Yay!

My thoughts on...the Windies dropping out of the World Cup

2007-04-12T12:52:00.000-05:00

I never expected them to win the World Cup. Besides all of their talk about "psychological pressure," they weren't able to do what any World Cup qualifying team should be able to do, play a decent game. They played as if they were half asleep. Makes sense, as I've heard that they spend their free time partying at night clubs, while other teams are busy in their hotel rooms practicing their catches. Their team consisted of too many rookies, too many "force-ripe pickney" sent to play at the highest level possible in cricket. I never expected them to win. And they didn't. Big surprise. It didn't take a psychic to figure that out. After their loss to Sri Lanka, it would take a miracle and a half to get them to the next round. Apparently God isn't a Windies fan. And neither are many former West Indies supporters. I predicted that if they f*@ked up this time, this would be the final nail in the West Indies coffin. Excuse my French. Just have to find some way to vent this rage. And it seems I was right. People who once "rallied roun' the West Indies" now don't even want to hear the word cricket. In general, people just want to forget it, as if it were a bad dream.

Still they want to see some accountability. They want to see some heads roll, and if they have their way, either Lara's or the coach's will be on the chopping block. Lara sensed this, and instead of suffering the indignity of being fired, he simply chooses to retire from one-day cricket. But I don't think that will be enough, because if people are as angry as they seem, his life and the lives of the other team members might be in danger if they even set foot in the Caribbean islands right now. They'd better chill out elsewhere first. But as Lara said, the West Indies will not give up, and they will fight to the bitter end, essentially playing for pride. Well I for one am tired of us playing for pride, just to prove that we're of some worth.Here's an idea: See the way you play catch-up? Why not play that way all the time? Still I wonder why I even bother. As detached as I try to be, I suppose as West Indians, cricket is in our blood. That why I still have a soft heart for these guys, not matter how many times they fail me.

My thoughts on...curbing Chinese gaming addiction

2007-04-11T17:12:00.000-05:00

It's no secret. The Chinese love their online games. In fact, when you think of PC gaming, the image of a short, socially inept Asian teen soon follows the image of a bratty, overprivileged Yankee brat swearin' at everyone. And its not only the kids and teens. Even the adults are playing it. Apart from manufacturing counterfeits of popular Western brands, it seems to be their favourite pastime. Well now it's gotten so bad that the Chinese government is considering clamping down on the amount of hours under-18s can spend on the computer playing online games. If they play for more than three consecutive hours, the points they score are halved. Guess they're really into roleplay. I mean RPGs. Don't get freaky and start making plans to go to China.

Those who play for five hours will get no points and be warned that they are entering "unhealthy game time." Did you know that over 10% of them are classified as "addicted?" C'mon guys. There must something else you can do to escape the harsh reality of your rigid, communist society? How about girls? Well, you've got that "two kid" rule, so you have to be extra careful when firing your guns, if you know what I mean. Bonding with nature? Oh, right. Very little nature can be found in an industrialized country with over a billion locals. I've got it. How about good ol' fashioned books? Meh, not such a good idea. And besides, in most classes the Asian kid is automatically the smartest anyway. And I know y'all can't blog because the Chinese government isn't too big on free speech. So I guess you should play on with all your wizards, knights and trolls. Just don't do it too much. Because like Mama said, you'll go blind if you click it too much.

My thoughts on...becoming 21

2007-04-10T17:39:00.000-05:00

'Sup folks. Enjoy the Easter break. I know I did, especially since my birthday was on Good Friday. Yup, the ol' dog finally hit 21, the legal drinking age in America apparently. That's why you've gotta love Jamaica, where you'll only get turned away if you look like Smirnoff Ice will have you slurring. It was no grand celebration by any means. All I got was a shirt. It wasn't even wrapped and it had the price on. Nice to see you went all out Mom. Hmm. That would make a nice tee. "Today was my birthday and all I got was this lousy...anyhoo, I expected more. Naturally, as this is such a momentous occassion. The day I officially rid myself of the shackles of youth and fully embrace the mantle of manhood. But let's face it, we all know that happened some time ago. But I'm fortunate, because as I said last year, Jamaican males stop getting pampered once they hit 18, worse if they're working. Thankfully my mom likes to pamper me. No shame in being a Mama's boy when she gives you stuff.

My girl wanted us to go out, but to hell with you I said! I'm gonna stay home! Well, not nearly that forceful, but I told her that I did not wish to leave my house. She was pissed at me for the rest of the day. Oh, and you know no Jamaican birthday would be complete without a good beating from your friends. I didn't get floured. But after a certain age you just don't bother to flour people anymore. I got my "21 tumps" from four of my closest male friends, one of which plays rugby and another who's an expert runner. Ouch indeed! So, what now? Well, this is the last joyful birthday of them all. Each one after is just another step in the wondrous journey towards old age, when you lose bowel control and memory and gain wrinkles and that dreaded old people smell. I think I'll stop counting down from now on. Nah. I've still got a few more years of youth left. Maybe at 30.

My thoughts on...my Grindhouse love

2007-04-05T12:18:00.000-05:00

Folks, I'm in love. And not just any old love, a forbidden love. I've fallen in love with someone I who can never embrace, whose sweet lips will never meet mine, no matter how much I wish it (man, I really hope my girlfriend isn't reading this). Any guesses? How did you know? The pic gave her away, didn't it? I'm talkin' of course about the Grindhouse girl, Lee. I don't care about its cult status or following. All I care about are the chicks (and Snake. He's awesome). One of those beautiful women has caught my eye, the lovely Lee. And don't think I'm one of those shallow guys. I love her for what's on the inside too. She's an actress, meaning she's ambitious, and she's got a great personality (I think). And...aww, let me just say it. She's got a frickin' rifle on her leg! That is so cool! That babe's bringin' peg legs back! Do you know the things you could do with her?

1. Anyone wanna rob you, she can just pretend to jump into your arms in fear, then you can unload it on 'em!
2. No guy would wanna mess around with her.
3. You would be the envy of the local rifle club.
4. I saw a pic of her blowing smoke off her gun. Such flexibility is much sought after.
5. The both of you would finally have something masculine to talk about.

Now here are the disadvantages of having a girl like her around.

1. During lovemaking, you'd have to make sure that the rifle doesn't go off and shoot something, worse you. Wouldn't want her gun making yours useless.
2. Do not piss her off during her time of the month.
3. If you cheat on her, RUN! DO NOT WALK!

See, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. But then again, maybe it can happen, as she is played by a real life actress, Rose McGowan, and...aww, my chances are pretty much the same. I've never felt this way since the days of my youth when I fantasized about being with Amy Jo Johnson. (crickets chirp). Don't you know Amy Jo Johnson? (crickets chirp). You know, the Pink Ranger? (crickets leave).

My thoughts on...the West Indies vs Sri Lanka

2007-04-04T14:48:00.000-05:00

All Caribbean residents know of it; the stinging defeat that made us hang our heads in shame. The West Indies' loss to Sri Lanka on Sunday. I would have written about it earlier, but if I did, I would surely have thrown a cricket bat through the computer screen, so filled with anger I was. Normally I wouldn't care, wouldn't even lift an eyelid. But the past couple of wins were beginning the reawaken the previously dead cricketing fever within Caribbean locals. Kids were beginning to bat and bowl. Old drunks at the local bar were begining to discuss cricket again, and people were actually concerned with keeping up with the matches. They were even beginning to turn the hard, cold spot I have in my heart for the Windies warm again. Just when they were close to losing that awful yet quite catchy nickname "Worst Indies," this happens, the third World Cup loss in a row!

And it's not even the fact that they lost, it's the way that they lost. 113 runs behind, the biggest defeat in terms of runs in the World Cup since Austrailia earlier in March. So much for "psychological advantage." They performed in a, as Oral Tracey put it, "lackadasical" fashion. They were dropping more balls than Ron Jeremy! And did I mention the "great" Brian Lara? He went in an made duck, and didn't last that long. That's typical Brian Lara. Far too much accolades and far too little performance. He only shines when someone's going after one of his records. The rest of the team moved so slowly that you had to sometimes wonder if you were watching an instant replay. Let's face it, the Windies sucked! In fact, they sucked so much that they nearly created a black hole on the cricket ground. They've pretty much crushed their hope of being the first host team to win the Cricket World Cup. If they beat Bangladesh, South Africa and England, they'll have a slim chance. To that I say, HA!

My thoughts on...April Fool's Day

2007-04-03T17:22:00.000-05:00

April Fool's Day - a delightful and whimsical day when the clever and convincing bask in the suffering of the slow and gullible. It is also the worst day to go on the Internet. Even so-called "reputable" news sources get in on the act. In fact, it's pretty much useless on that day. So I stayed off it, save for doing some research. But that didn't stop me from being pranked by, get this, my 9-year old sister. But I reversed her prank on her without even knowing it. Does that count as an April Fool's prank? My parents didn't join in the fun, too caught up in the daily grind. But I'm kinda sorry I didn't check the Internet, as I missed out on all the hilarity.

I scoured the Internet all morning yesterday for pranks left over from Sunday, but to no avail. But here's a prank that got me, though I should've had enough braincells to know better. It was about Apple ditching the iPhone to join up with Google and create and new phone. the "ID." It would be chockful of features, but unable to make calls, but they thought users wouldn't miss that feature. You should see it. The phone looks like the friggin' Death Star. Here's the link. But the point of this post is this: I want all you bloggers passing through just to share your April Fool's Day moments, whether online or off. And hopefully my readers will have fun at the expense of many others.

My thoughts on...Robot Michael Jackson

2007-03-31T16:38:00.000-05:00

Our favourite child molester (allegedly), Michael Jackson, has returned from Japan, and seems to have taken their love of giant robots with him, as he wants to build a giant 50-foot robot in Las Vegas. And no, it's not April Fool's Day. Check the calendar. This is in an effort to win back his adoring fans. This is obviously a ploy to get more naive, young boys into his arms. I mean which demographic is most into giant robots and lasers? I ask you! And get this, they plan for his robot to shoot frickin' laser beams out of its frickin' eyes! I wonder what it would be called? MechaMichael? Or my pick, RoboPedo?

Have they considered what would happen if it gets out of control? It would rampage the Nevada desert, with little boys in one hand, and climb the highest point in Vegas, Kong style. And what if there's a cockpit inside that Michael can enter and pilot it? Who will stop him from molesting children then?

"Yes (evil grin while rubbing palms together), everything is going according to plan. Simply make them think that I'm just trying to regain a few fans. Then create my giant child molesting robot, let it amuse them for a while, then unleash its power on the unsuspecting populous! I will destroy those accursed courts that tarnished my image. Then I will be free to express my once forbidden love with the children of men! And they said I was crazy! (Evil laugh)"

Michael, if you want to draw attention to yourself, just do what everyone does nowadays, make a sex tape and "accidentally" publish it on the Internet. It's far cheaper and far more effective. But then again, who'd want to see Wacko Jacko going at it, except out of some twisted curiosity?

My thoughts on...Bob Woolmer's death

2007-03-30T17:24:00.000-05:00

Everyone in the cricketing world, and with the media coverage it's getting, possibly the whole world, knows about the death of coach Bob Woolmer. His mysterious death has almost become a real life CSI, but with far less evidence, and the media is gobbling it up, eagerly awaiting the next finding, no matter how trivial it may be. At once his death was thought to be a suicide, which I thought to be strange. I know that the Pakistanis are insanely (and I do mean INSANE) passionate about cricket, I didn't think he'd take his life out of fear of them. His death brought a shroud of gloom upon the festive event, and gave Jamaica the distinct dishonour of hosting the first Cricket World Cup involving a death. "This can't be too good for our image," I thought to myself, as we already hold the uneviniable title of crime capital of the world. They even mentioned it on the Wikipedia page about his death, and in Time as well. Well guess what guys. We don't randomly kill people like the sickos in your country. When we kill, we kill with a purpose. I also feared that people would somehow try to blame us for his death, further blemishing our reputation in the eyes of the world. But I realize that my fears were unfounded, as it was a suicide.

Fast forward about a week later, and now its a murder. Asphyxia by manual strangulation. I now realize how valid my fears really are. I read The Star yesterday, and they said that the mode of execution just doesn't fit a typical Jamaican's profile. Firstly, the death was too clean, too precise. The typical Jamaican would just kill, then focus on gettin' the hell outta there! And secondly, it didn't involve a gun, or a knife. When we Jamaicans kill, we want it done and we want it done now. No time or patience for setting up bombs or poisoning drinks. We just find you and get to work. Yup, this death was too professionally done to be the work of an average Yardie. Which brings up the theory that his death may have been ordered by a betting syndicate. I hope that's the case, because if a Jamaican's involved, the results would be disastrous, and be felt for years to come. I know the BBC would proudly display the article, as I think they've got a thing for us. "See! I knew those damn Yardies couldn't be trusted to hold a civilized event! Not halfway through and they had to shed the blood of one of our own. What we're we thinking when we granted them independence? All they're good for is selling drugs, forming gangs, having sex with white women for citizenship and worshipping their pagan god Jah!" It looks like the Caribbean will successful host this Cricket World Cup, but you know how people like to remember the negatives. Yes sir, Woolmer's death will be remembered long after the gear has worn and the trophy has faded.

My thoughts on...the 2008 presidential candiates

2007-03-29T18:01:00.000-05:00

Yes indeed, King George has made a royal mess of things, especially his pet project, the war in Iraq. And with quarter of 2007 gone, it looks like it will take a miracle to redeem himself and his administration. President Bush, I've got a poem for you.

Georgie, Georgie once stood tall,

Georgie, Georgie had a great fall,

All the king's horses and all the king's men,

Couldn't put Iraq together again.

Understandably, everyone's sizing up the 2008 presidential candidates, trying to figure out who can get America out of the hole Dubya has put it in. There are four main candidates, the main contenters being Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama, because whichever of them enters The Whitehouse, it will be a first. If Hilary wins, she'll be the first female president. If Barack wins, he'll be the first black president. Hilary, that frigid harpie (I'll never forgive you for making Bill suffer) is in the lead according to the polls. Would hate to see her during her time of the month. Second is Barack Obama, who I'm rooting for. Not because he's black, but because he's black and ARTICULATE. Apparently the fact that his last name sounds like a well-known terrorist's doesn't seem to be affecting his popularity much, though I think the Americans are a bit numb when it comes to terrorism, after hearing Dubya use it in every other sentence. But the odds are against you my brother. There's a reason it's called "The Whitehouse," and it'll be a hell of a task convincing those red state farmers who voted for Bush to vote Democrat.

Rudy Giuliani is in third place. No surprise, as he has been an excellent mayor of New York. John Edwards, John Kerry's former lackey, thinks he has what it takes to sit in the big chair. But the people don't think so, as he's currently in fourth place, but he's not last, as there are many other candidates, a new one seeming to pop up every week. Interesting candidates include Law & Order's Fred Thompson and Al Gore (can't the guy take a hint? America doesn't like you!) This is starting to remind me of the race for governor of California in 2003. Wonder why Mary Carey and Gary Coleman haven't thrown their hats in the ring? Has President Bush f*cked up everything so badly that everyone thinks they can do a better job than him? Ok then. Don't shout all at once. This promises to be one of the better elections, no matter who wins. So you know I'll be watching.

My thoughts on...vanity searching

2007-03-28T12:45:00.000-05:00

Old man inspiration up and left me yesterday and most of this morning, as I was cramming like hell for an accounts exam which I thought was today, but to my pleasant surprise takes place on Friday. But my desperation is understandable, as in the first test I got a score that would make George Bush's IQ look impressive. So just for fun, I decided to do a vanity search on my name. I did a few before, but that was with the intention of tracking my blog's visibility in Google. But now my aim was to find out how many Leon Robinsons there are in the world. For the uninformed, a vanity search is when you look up your name on a search engine. So I punched in "Leon Robinson" and hoped for the best. Turns out that there's a famous black actor named Leon Robinson, Wikipedia entry and everything.

Hmmn. I often got hits from searches for "Leon Robinson." This stroked the ol' ego a bit, as I thought people were searching for my blog. Made me feel as if I was getting noticed on the Interweb. Turns out I was sharing the spotlight with a real star. He even came in Cool Runnings, a movie every Jamaican should know, but somehow I never noticed him. Handsome fellow too. But then again I expected no less. I wonder if this Leon Robinson will get a Wikipedia entry of his own someday? There is also a black NFL player with the same name. Not bad. I'm proud to share the same name with two successful brothers. On a sadder note, there was a Leon Robinson (this one was white) who was killed in Australia by Aboriginals late last year in a racially motivated killing. Those are all the namesakes I could find. As you can see, vanity searching can be more than searching to see if those photos of you getting bicurious while drunk made it to the Internet. So, what did you dig up?

My thoughts on...the Anna Nicole diaries

2007-03-26T10:13:00.000-05:00

No, it's not some B-grade porno on Showtime, though I don't think that it'd be beneath her given her "exotic" past. It is quite actually what it sounds like. Apparently someone was cleaning a house in LA where Anna Nicole Smith stayed and found two of her diaries, dated 1992 and 1994. Good for you my brother. You made couple bucks off a dead celeb's scribbles. Hope that can ease the pain of your Hollywood dreams being shattered. They were then put them up for sale on EBay and bought by a German businessman for a whopping $620,000! I wondered what exactly he was going to do with them. My first thought was something freaky like dress up in some bondage wear, tear each leaf from the diaries and rub it all over himself while chanting, "Do you like mein body?" (We all know Germans are weird.)

But I later found out that he wants to use the information to compile a book. Not bad. My hat's off to you for some keen business sense. Though I wonder how he'll manage to compile a book with that little information, despite the fact that the guy at the auction house says it's "like a soap opera." (Was probably just trying justify the ridiculous price tag.) That's a pic of one of the diaries right there. I'm not kidding. One whole page and barely a sentence. But then again this is Anna Nicole Smith we're talking about. So far the only parts about the diaries that interested me is the fact that Anna thought she was a fat when she was the Guess model and that she hated sex. Well that's what happens when you're humping a fossil. And the results of her autopsy came out today. Drumroll please! Anna Nicole Smith... died from...an accidental drug overdose! Yeah, I'm disappointed too. But I can't help thinking that she killed herself. She did want to be just like Marilyn Munroe, and she died in suspiciously the same circumstances at roughly the same age. However she died, I just hope that the media circus surrounding her death will itself die.

My thoughts on...those pesky Nigerian spam mails

2007-03-23T17:04:00.000-05:00

I get the usual spam mail just like everyone else. Apparently I'm in dire need to enlarge my member, earn some bogus degree whose only valid use is toilet paper, refinance my mortage for my non-existent home, and buy some unknown stocks with my non-existent money. But the most annoying and persistent of all are those Nigerian spams. My Gmail and Yahoo! accounts filter most of my spam fine, but my Hotmail account lets them walk on by, even though I have my spam filter on. But it's a Microsoft product, so I don't expect it to work all that well. They didn't start flooding my inbox until the other day, when I signed up for a French-based blog directory (shows that you just can't trust the French).

I get like five a day, and that's a modest estimate. I check my email every chance I get just to get a cheap laugh out of these spammers' efforts. Some of them are obviously scams, like the ones riddled with grammatical errors. Others require more scrutiny, like those well written, polite ones that use actual names and events. But being the skeptical fellow I am, they bounce off me like rubber off steel. I think they realize that I'm a hard one to fool, as I can see them switching tactics on me. Normally they'd just flood my inbox with claims of rich widows and oil barons scouring the Internet and finding only me, lil' ol' me trustworthy enough to get their ridiculous sums of money out of the country.

But now they're claiming that I won some European lotto, or some Microsoft (ooh, money!) sponsored sweepstakes (at least try to make the letter look official, like giving it a letterhead or something, instead of looking like something that was whipped up in five minutes in Notepad). And they have dared to use the name of God in their mailings, often claiming that they are some helpless missionary who needs help with church funds. Don't these people have any shame? I think I'll try "scam-baiting." That is, toy around with the scammers, making them think they have me fooled. I hope if I rub them the wrong way, they'll leave me alone. I heard someone got a new computer that way. I wonder if I'll be that lucky? I could use a flat screen right about now. If I decide to do that, you guys'll be the first to know.

My thoughts on...Paris Hilton's new b00bs

2007-03-21T17:20:00.000-05:00

I really don't know why I'm doing this. This will be another in a long line of articles about that overpriviledged skank Paris Hilton. And as much as I don't want to play my part in keeping her in the public eye, I somehow feel compelled to. That's the kind of hold she has over myself and the rest of the media. Anyway, back to the post at hand. Paris Hilton's once small breasts have turned into huge knockers overnight, and many are asking "surgery or push-up bra?" If she really is wearing a push-up bra then this may just be what millions of grandmas have been waiting for. More than likely she had surgery. Don't know why. She seemed fine being head of the itty-bitty-titty committee. But I guess she wasn't satisfied with the amount of sexual attention her sex tape, making out in public, boob flashes, adult video awards and camera phone nudie pics.

But there's one possibility people haven't considered. Maybe when she went down on Cee Lo of Gnarls Barkley, his man juice ran down her chest and the high fat content caused some sort of reaction with one or more of the STIs in her vast collection and caused her boobs to swell. I followed some stray links to that pic, and trust me, it made me gasp. Good thing there were censor bars over it to prevent me from going completely blind. Well I guess when you're famous for being famous, you need something to keep your name in the tabloids and to distract from your glaring failures as an actress, singer, and all-around human being.

My thoughts on...the banning of the "N" word

2007-03-20T16:20:00.000-05:00

This happened a couple weeks ago, but it was recently brought to my attention. Turns out that New York has placed a symbolic ban on the word "nigger." Symbolic, meaning that there will be no legal repercussions. This after Micheal Richards' racist tirade. Oh, so it was okay when those red-state racist crackers were using it, but it becomes an issue when it's said by a racist cracker WHO'S FAMOUS? This is a really dumb move, and actors like Chris Rock and Jamie Foxx agree, and will not stop using the word. The reason why "nigger" has become so mainstream is because black people took a word that once dehumanized and debased them and turned it into a word that means "brother." They owned the word and changed its meaning from a negative to a positive, turning one of the greatest tools of the oppressor against him. Paris Hilton is still trying to do that with the word "whore" by wearing it proudly on her sleeve. Sorry Paris. It won't ever change.

Despite this, African American community leaders regard the word as a "a throwback to the times of slavery." I disagree. Still I can see why they would want to ban the word, but not for the reason as they claim. The meaning of the word "nigger" has changed over the years, from a symbol of brotherhood to a badge for an urban criminal. This is very worrying I'll admit, but simply banning one word won't make a difference. Why not focus more time and energy on improving educational opportunities for young blacks or launching a beautification programme to improve the appearance of inner-city communities, instead of some ridiculous ban that carries no legal weight, then patting yourself on the back that you've done something for black people? I would like all black bloggers reading this post today to publish a post with the "N" word in it within the week, as a form of protest against this stupidity.

My thoughts on...Sara Lawrence's dethroning

2007-03-19T11:43:00.000-05:00

Sara Lawrence, Miss Jamaica World 2006, has given up the title prematurely as she is expecting a child. This has caused a lot of controversy, as this has never happened before in the history of the pageant. And in the eyes of many, this occurrence has blemished the sanctity of the crown. Others argue that her pregnancy renders her unable to fulfill her promise to promote safe sex. There's also the fact that her pregnancy violated the terms of her contract. I support her, because she did the honourable thing and carried the child to term. I know if it happened in other countries where family values and morals are less treasured, say the United States, the child would have been aborted. Miss USA would chuck the kid in a ditch and argue that it's her body. I wonder how many Miss World's have secretly had abortions? She represented Jamaica well, placing 6th. She also carried herself with dignity and pride, and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

I think the reason that this has stirred up so much controversy is that though we act as if we're all modern and with the times, our ideal woman is still pure and virginal. And the Miss Jamaica pageant is supposed to represent that. Now our "perfect vision of beauty" has been tarnished. But we have to realize that things are different now, and that times have changed. Miss Lawrence, just hold your head up high and focus on your dreams. You're a beautiful, intelligent woman with a lot to offer. You're still a queen, crown or no crown. Besides, it's not like you're the first scandalized beauty queen. Look at Vanessa Williams. Her name made the tabloids because of scandal, and is still in them, long after all those beauty queens' have faded.

My thoughts on...boob tube vs YouTube

2007-03-17T18:51:00.000-05:00

As of late, I've been reading articles about the copyright battle between YouTube and the major networks, as users upload full episodes of popular programs like 24 and Lost. I've also heard discussions about whether or not network TV is relevant anymore. What is it about Google's billion dollar baby that makes it a threat to conventional television? Well for one, you get far more variety than regular TV. Think 200 channels is great? Try having millions, all created by people just like you, not network execs motivated by ratings and not sanitized by censors. Internet video gives users the ability to control content. We've all said to ourselves, "How did this crap end up on TV? I could make a better show than this!" Well with Internet video you can. There is also the appeal of instant stardom (probably the same reason so many people are blogging nowadays). Upload a good enough video, and by good, I mean something totally stupid or fanboy fodder, a couple million hits later, and you're known worldwide. The guy in the mail room that no one talks to may be a superstar on the Internet. And that's part of the appeal of YouTube, that you could be the next Star Wars Kid. That's probably why Google paid $1.6 billion for it.

I still think there's a place for the ol' set in the living room though. Internet video is amusing yes, but it's far too amateur and sophmoric to be taken for serious programming, despite the fact that some smart (dare I say it) programming is finding its way on the Internet. And I doubt that this will change any time soon, as it is mainly dominated by self-indulgent, under-acheiving teens who need to feed their bruised egos. So I won't be trading in my TV anytime soon. As for the copyright battle, it can't be won. If Google decides to clamp down on uploading copyrighted material, no matter how hard it tries, there are far too many "offenders" to target. 65,000 videos are uploaded to YouTube everyday. Not even a company as large as Google can filter that much information. Not like they would want to, because they know that users will jump ship if they try to restrain users' activity. Remember "new" Napster?

My thoughts on...Cricket World Cup '07: West Indies vs Pakistan

2007-03-16T18:04:00.000-05:00

If you're a regular reader you'll know that there's no one more cynical than me when it comes to West Indies cricket. I was once an avid fan, just like any Caribbean local. That's when the words "West Indies" struck fear in the hearts of teams everywhere. Now we're little more than punching bags for Austrailia and South Africa. After years of great expectation followed by crushing disappointment, my heart just couldn't take it anymore, and has grown cold. And I'm not alone. Since Jamaica's World Cup qualification and the endless onslaught of Windies losses, many cricket fans have traded their bats for footballs, despite PM Portia's declaration that we're a "cricket-loving nation." Eyes are no longer glued to the TV during a cricket match. Little boys don't play cricket in the streets, trying to emulate their favourite Windies cricketers. Old men in bars no longer spend their time rambling on about the latest game. And the call to "rally 'round the West Indies" has largely been ignored.

So when the first match of the Cricket World Cup, and more importantly, the first match for the Windies started, I was pretty confident of the result. Another loss. As the match went on, my mother's unusual number of cheers for "six" and "four" caught my ear. My interest was aroused a little, but I was still confident in my prediction. As I began to wonder what was the reason for her relentless fandom, I said to myself, "No wonder my mother's so forgiving. She got it from watching West Indies cricket." As I went about my daily business, I ended up in the Pavillion in Half-way-Tree. I heard a commotion coming from the Western Union, and the security guard was shouting at the top of his lungs. A robbery perhaps? So I thought. Turns out they were simply cheering for the Windies. Now my interest peaked, but not enough to actively seek the results of the game. When I found out later that they won by 54 runs, I was quite surprised. Seems like the "Worst Indies" aren't completely worthless after all.

However, I'm not entertaining hopes that they can be the first home country to win the Cup. I'll be happy if they do, but let's face it, better teams have tried and failed. Pakistan is no Austrailia. And this is just the first match. There are many more to come. But already people are starting to burn with cricketing fever yet again. Let's hope they don't fail us this time, else that fever may find a permanent cure, as too many eyes are on us, too much money has been spent and too many West Indians are bursting with pride and hope for that to happen.

My thoughts on...Angelina Jolie: Cradle Raider

2007-03-15T17:09:00.000-05:00

Yup, turns out Angelina Jolie assimilated...I mean adopted yet another child from a third world country. This time it was a three-year old boy from Vietnam named Pham Quang Sang. Say that five times fast. He's been renamed Four of...(ahem), Pax Thien Jolie, the next to join the multi-cultural grab bag she calls a family. I wonder why she adopts all these children? Maybe she's trying to play the good humanitarian and help as many kids as she can. Maybe she's one of those quirky celebrities (you know the ones), and wants to have a "collection" of kids. Maybe she's trying to overthrow the leaders of her kids' respective countries of origin, and is using adoption as a means to gain political power. I mean look at the way they treated her in Namibia! She was so guarded heavily while with child you'd think Fort Knox was under her skirt or something. And when her kid was born, she was immediately offered Namibian citizenship. They didn't just roll out the red carpet for her, they gave her the entire carpet factory!

I think she's trying to assimilate all of the children in the world and raise an army of drones to finally assimilate the entire planet. I mean look at her! That kind of beauty is not natural! If this is what she really plans to do, there'd be little resistance. All she'd need to do is look at you with those seductive eyes and utter these words from her soft, pouty lips, "resistance is futile." That'd be it for me. I commend Angelina on her third adoption, especially given the fact that the tyke was an orphan abandoned at birth. But I hope she doesn't get too carried away with the adoption thing. We don't want anymore Nicole Richies in this world. And who knows? Maybe I'd like life as a drone.

My thoughts on...Ghost Rider

2007-03-14T17:09:00.000-05:00

I don't normally do movie reviews (mainly because I don't go out and watch much movies), but this one stood out from others in its genre, and I think that makes it postworthy. Sunday I saw Ghost Rider at my next door neigbour's house (bootleg of course). Not that I'm against movie companies making a profit, I just think that in this age of filesharing, $50 for a movie is just ridiculous, especially given the fact that they mark them up to ridiculous levels out here. Here that RIAA! I watched a bootleg movie and there is nothing you can do about it! Better shut up. For all I know they could be tracking my IP address right now. I knew of the character. I don't quite know how. Maybe I saw his comic on the shelves or flipped though a friend's in my youth. So I didn't know what to expect. with Nick Cage as the star, I knew that there'd be good acting (from him at least). But I don't know how I'd like it overall, as the starpower of one isn't enough to carry even a superhero movie. Case in point: Daredevil.

Turns out I loved it. There was more supernatural horror than I expected, but it was tame compared to the comic, and many events of Johnny Blaze's dark past were omitted. Natural, as the directors need some "artistic flexibility." I thought it would've been a flop at the box office, because Ghost Rider is such an unknown. Turns out it made US$180 million. Why was it so successful, when superhero movies are now a dime a dozen? Well I think it's mainly because of Johnny and his alter ego. Johnny's a regular guy. He makes mistakes. He's been through tragedy. He has regrets. He's not like that perfect goody-two-shoes farm boy from Smallville, so this cynical generation can relate to him. Unlike Superman. Sure, as of late they've tried to make him seem more human, by making him make mistakes and throw the occasional temper tantrum. But overall, he's still too perfect.

Ghost Rider is also an anti-hero, the kind whose comics your mother warned about. He won't hesitate to kill and he breaks the law. His powers stem from the forces of darkness themselves, and let's face it, we're fascinated by the dark side, as we're all fascinated by the forbidden. He's got the whole badass biker thing going, not to mention the fact that HIS HEAD IS AFLAME! All of this should make him quite popular. Also, the movie was more raw than many superhero movies, most of whom are so cheesy that they bleed Brie. Not saying that Ghost Rider was the best superhero movie ever. The Rider didn't seem lifelike and the acting was lacking. But I expected that. It is a superhero movie after all. Given the success of the movie, I think Ghost Rider will finally get his props.

My thoughts on...Osama Bin Laden's 50th birthday

2007-03-12T11:34:00.000-05:00

Osama Bin Laden's 50th birthday was last Saturday. That is, assuming he's alive, which he probably is, despite the fact that no one's heard from him in quite some time. As expected, the Internet was flooded with tributes to Islam's "great leader." On this side of the world, Americans were using the day to remember the lives lost on 9/11 and other terrorist attacks. I didn't think that Bin Laden would live that long, with trigger-happy cowboy Bush at the helm. Too bad he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, or rather, a cave. Still, I wonder how Bin Laden and his followers would have celebrated the occasion. It'd probably go something like this:

Bin Laden: Thank you all for coming. Please, wipe your feet on the gravel and leave your presents by the large boulder.
Follower #1: Here's your cake, great leader.
Bin Laden: Thank you. Its got George W. Bush on it, and its chocolate...my favourite!
Follower #1: That's right sir. It also has strawberry filling, so when you finally cut the cake, you can stab the infidel in his heart and watch the blood ooze out of his evil heart.
Bin Laden: Nice.
Follower #1: And speaking of murder, check out my present.
Bin Laden: [Holds box to ear and shakes it] Is it the head of the President of the United States?
Follower #1: Yes exalted one! Open it!
Bin Laden: [Opens excitedly, then frowns] This is the head of Dick Cheney!
Follower #1: I thought you wanted the President's head, sir?
Bin Laden: Yes, but not the actual one's. The titular one's!
Follower #1: You should've been more specific sir. I went through a lot of trouble to get that. I became one of his hunting buddies to gain his trust, but somehow he found out and shot me in the face! I tell you, there's a traitor among us!
Bin Laden: No, he does that to all his buds.
Follower #1: Really?
Bin Laden: Yeah.
Follower #2: Way to go Eugene.
Follower #1: Shut it. My name is now Abdullah now. Way cooler.
Follower #2: Too bad you aren't.
Follower #1: Shhh.
Bin Laden: Enough! Next gift!
Follower #2: Yes sir. I present you with something that will appeal to your love of Whitney Houston.
Bin Laden: You kidnapped her and brought her here! Excellent!
Follower #2: [Clears throat] Actually sir, I have one of her CDs. Her latest one, One Wish.
Bin Laden: That came out in 2003! I have it already!
Follower #2: But I don't see it in your collection.
Bin Laden: It's on my hard drive. I downloaded it off LimeWire.
Follower #2: Oh. I'll get right on the kidnapping sir.
Bin Laden: Good. Oh, one more thing. There's a hotel in Hawaii that needs bombing, and I know just the guys to do it.
Followers #1 and #2: Hawaii sir? Really?
Bin Laden: Yes. Now get moving. If you leave now, you'll miss out on the buffet. Now get going, and may Allah be with you.
Followers #1 and #2: Yes exalted one. It will be done.
[They both leave]
Follower #3: I must say great leader, you impress me once again. It's your birthday, yet you still find time to fight the infidels.
Bin Laden: Nah. Just wanted to kill those guys. They're real douchebags.
Follower #3: Got that right.

Bin Laden's birthday must be a pain in the side for the Bush Administration, which used the fight against terrorism as their platform in the 2004 elections. They have failed to deliver on that promise, among other things. Yet the question still remains: Where is Bin Laden hiding? My guess is in the Library of Congress. That's the last place Bush would look.

My thoughts on...Cricket World Cup restrictions

2007-03-09T17:39:00.000-05:00

Just when you thought it was safe to enjoy a cricket match in your own homeland. The powers that be in Jamaica, and as indicated by my fellow Caribloggers, other Caribbean countries, have decided to strip us of the joys of spectatorship during the Cricket World Cup matches. That means no conch shells, no coolers, no cheering, no snacks, and generally no fun. Another thing to add to teh long list of foolishness this event has caused. I'm still wondering why would they do this? Don't they want the foreigners to experience cricket Caribbean style? Don't they want the World Cup to be a financial success? Maybe they're ashamed of our carryings on during matches, and don't want us uncouth locals to scare the mild-mannered moneyba...I mean visitors away from islands that they may vacation on in the future. On the matter of the refreshments,

I think they want to force people to use the concession stands so they can make further profit. As for vendors, they have to dig deep in their wallets if they have aspirations of selling at the event. Did you know that it costs J$27,000 just to get permission to sell peanuts? Imagine those who wish to sell sovenirs, like mugs, coasters, rags, and those tacky Rasta berets. I guess someone have to pay for all the renovations. My father and I were talking about it last night, and I came up with a third, more sinister theory (everything's a conspiracy with me). What if they are trying to drive out the locals to leave more seats open for the deep-pocketed visitors? Hey, it's not that farfetched. It is the Government after all. Oh and the Windies were crushed by the Indians today. What a surprise. Probably the reason why most Caribbean locals aren't excited about the whole thing, despite their home field advantage.

State of the Blog

2007-03-08T16:55:00.000-05:00

Just felt like reporting on the state of my blog, and I am ashamed to say that the state of my blog is in shambles. Apparently, my blog's going down the toilet, according to my stats. My Silktide Sitescore is now 6.1. Once it was in the high 70s. My blog ranks so low in terms of traffic they can't assign it a number, and it was once going to break the 1 million barrier. My hits are less than half of what they used to be. Having 10 or more comments on each post was once a regular occurrence. Now I'm lucky if I get 5. And I feel as if I'm losing my connection with my readers. Posting as getting harder, as the thoughts that made my blog popular don't flow as freely anymore, as I am too preoccupied with schoolwork, and it reflects in my posting frequency, which is a shadow of what it once was.

Taking a break from blogging the other day, which I thought would help me refresh my mind and regain my focus, made things worse, as I got used on the free time I gained, and made me put less priority on blogging. Plus the fact that many of my fellow Caribbean bloggers are posting less and some are quitting make it even harder for me to regain my enthusiasm for blogging. But my poor Silktide score woke me up. I am neglecting my blog, and now I have decided to go back to basics to recapture what made me enjoy blogging in the first place. I need to remember that posting should be fun, and not a chore as it has been for me lately. I need to remember that I have an obligation to my readers and need to comment on blogs more often in order build new relationships with bloggers, and strengthen the ones I have already established. If I do these things, I'm absolutely certain I can get my blog out of the rut it's in.

My thoughts on...Jesus Christ: Baby Daddy

2007-03-06T16:48:00.000-05:00

You've probably heard the crap being tossed around the place that Jesus' bones were found in some tomb, and that the bones of his alleged son were found. Sure we've heard this all before. The DaVinci Code made sure of that. And for the uninformed, these claims were made way before that. But the issue has arisen again because the discovery was made by James Cameron, because we all know that being an acclaimed director automatically makes you a qualified archaeologist. The great Mr. Cameron claims that Jesus Christ of Nazareth never ascended, and never died for that matter. He just fainted on the cross, woke up, lived for a couple years, fathered a brat named Judah with Mary Magdelene, and then kicked the bucket. This ticked me off to no end, but after a while, I laughed it off, realizing the idiocy of his claims. #1. These so called DNA remains. Who were they compared with? Does anyone alive have a proved sample of Jesus' DNA, or did he just come down from heaven and offer one so that his divinity could be disproved? #2. Roman officials confirmed his death. His body was examined and everything, unless you're too arrogant to believe that back then they could have properly identified a dead body. #3. The names on the graves were far too common to base such a grave claim.

Cameron's just trying to revive his career by taking advantage of the commercial interst in Jesus triggered by The Passion and trying to create some lame ass DaVinci Code knockoff. When questioned, James said he didn't mean to offend, he just to wanted to "stretch the imagination" and had a "great passion for a good detective story." A little advice James, the next time you wanna play Sherlock Holmes, do what the rest of us do: watch CSI and try to tag the perp before show's end, intead of messing with the faith of millions, ok? I'm happiest of all for Jesus, 'cause 2,000+ years of child support is something no man wants to face. Imagine Jesus on The Maury Show, with some hoochie mama yelling at him to "take responsibilty and be a man," while he sits silently and patiently, waiting for the famous yellow envelope containing the paternity results. Now that's a show I'd watch!

My thoughts on...preparations for the ICC Cricket World Cup

2007-03-02T18:04:00.000-05:00

The ICC World Cup is little over a week away. Preparations are almost complete for the greatest sporting event to ever hit the Caribbean. Though we are only going to host the opening portion, a few warm up matches and the semi-finals, the Jamaican government is taking this thing very seriously, something they very rarely do. They've left nothing to chance. They've got police to guard the patrons, bought new police cars, gotten new amubulances, fixed broken-down schools and roads around the venue, cleaned up beaches and drains, constructed stop signs, put commercials on radio and TV promoting national pride and Jamaican values, a clever way to say, "Leave a good impression on the foreign people." I've got one thing to ask them. WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE?

I think this is good and all, but that's what I hate about the Jamaican government (among other things), the fact that they only maintain the nation's resources and infrastructure when the world is watching. It sickens me. Your own have been asking for these things for years, waiting for sometimes decades for you to do something about it. But when the foreigners come, "Oh, we don't want Jamaica to look like the broke down, hopeless, poverty-stricken wasteland that our people, thanks to our negligence, view it as. Let's spruce it up for the white folks. And when they leave, we can let it run down and get back to the business of betraying our people's trust in us."

I mean, where did all of this money come from? When teachers, policemen and other civil servants ask for raises, the Government gives them single digit ones. And that's when they're feeling generous. Most times they get nothing. When education, health and other sectors need money, the answer most often is, "There's no money left in the budget." Yet now they can find the money to build an elaborate, 25,000 seater stadium and lots more. I think this Government acts more like a corporation, because they only invest in the country when there is money to be made. No wonder there is constant talk of corruption, mostly involving shady deals with contractors and others in the private sector.

I have seen the changes myself. I live next to a main road, and midweek (Wednesday I think it was), I got up to go to school and lo and behold, the road had the white lines repainted. All finished overnight. Just like that. I had no idea the National Works Agency was capable of such competence. I guess I'd better quit being angry at the Government and thank the organizers of the Cricket World Cup for choosing Jamaica, else none of this would've been done.

My thoughts on...the 27th annual Razzie Awards

2007-03-01T14:32:00.000-05:00

As everyone in the civilized world knows, the Oscar Awards took place Sunday. Yet another self-congratulatory Hollywood award show. Oh we're so rich! Oh we're so beautiful! Oh we're so talented! But for each Oscar-worthy movie or actor, there's about a dozen crappy ones, unfit for human viewing. Some of these are bad. Others are an insult to moviegoers. And others count as crimes against humanity. And for a time Hollywood got away with it. No one dared to question the will of the beautiful people. That is, until the Razzies came along. Mankind's check against Hollywood's tyranny, The Golden Raspberry Awards, was held on Saturday night, and the night's big "winner" was no other than Sharon Stone.

Sharon, once considered the greatest actress in the world, took home the award for worst actress. Basic Instinct 2 swept the house, taking home Worst Film, Worst Screenplay and Worst Prequel/Sequel. Guess Basic Instinct 2 really stinked. The stars of Wayans brothers' comedy "Little Man," the Wayans brothers themselves, won Worst Screen Couple and shared the prize for Worst Actor. M. Night Shyamalan won Razzies for Worst Director and Worst Actor for his role as a "writer whose book will one day bring salvation to humanity." Egotistical much?The Worst Supporting Actress Razzie went to Carmen Electra for two films - 'Date Movie' and 'Scary Movie 4.' Robin Williams won Worst Excuse for Family Entertainment, a brand new category. Wow. If the Razzies made a category for you, you must be bad. I would like to extend my heartfelt thanks to The Golden Raspberry Foundation, for deflating the oversized egos of Hollywood.

My thoughts on...the 79th Academy Awards

2007-02-26T18:07:00.000-05:00

As everyone knows, this year's Oscars took place last night. I didn't watch it, because, as with all Hollywood award shows, the movies nominated are movies that the average Joe doesn't watch. Plus it was interrupting with my Family Guy, you know I couldn't have that. Good thing too, as Ellen DeGeneres was the host, and frankly I don't find her funny. Her humour is too bland and white bread for me. But today a shocking and welcome bit of news reached my ears, SCORSESE WON! I almost cried. I've been rooting for the guy for so much years. He's made excellent, mostly gritty movies. Wonder if that why Hollywood didn't recognize him? Because he made "real" movies and not any artsy-fartsy, touchy-feely crap that usually wins. The guy has been trying for 25 years, upstaged by actor-turned-directors, and worst of all, Three 6 Mafia. Ouch!

Most men would've been broken by now, but Scorsese pushed on, and finally won For The Departed, which won four Oscars. The award was presented to him by Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, proof that Hollywood has really accepted him. Apart from that, there was the usual. Political diatribes, celeb sightings, "fans" eager to get autographs to sell on EBay, extravagant parties and the brutal criticism of high-class fashionistas. So what will Scorsese do with his Oscar? Maybe he'll stroke his phallic prize continuously in a very creepy fashion, or hunt down Three 6 Mafia and beat them for the indignity he suffered? The latter would make an intersting read. Enjoy your victory Scorsese! You deserve it!

My thoughts on...Britney Shears

2007-02-23T11:09:00.000-05:00

As you all know, Britney Spears, former pop princess, has joined the ranks of Natalie Portman, Sinead O'Connor and Captain Jean-Luc Picard when she shaved her head on Friday. As expected, it made the front page of many newspapers and could be found in the pages of others. At least it was a welcome break from Annamania. They've probably interviewed her poodle Sugar Pie by now. And imagine, there are countless atrocities happening in places like Darfur, yet the tabloids are interested in Britney's scalp. Good to see that the media still focuses on delivering the truth to the masses, instead of stooping to sensationalism just to sell papers. She hasn't given a reason why she did it. Personally, I think this is yet another attempt to keep her in the public eye. I mean look at her. You can see the bones in her head.

I was afraid of what I'd find when I punched in "Britney shaved" into Google Images, as her crotch, seemingly jealous of her face, couldn't help but get some attention itself. I can't believe I'm saying this, but this move makes K-Fed look like the responsible one. And that's not the worst of it. Britney's shorn locks and a can of Red Bull she was drinking were posted on EBay, and the bidding reached $1 million! They are also auctioning Britney's blue lighter.

How stupid can people get? Heh. Much stupider, as people are busy wasting their lives speculating why she did it. I've read pages of theories, including post partum depression, a desire for "rebirth," temper tantrums, etc. Girl also got tattooed and attacked a car with an umbrella. People also say that she's on the verge of a "hot new trend," and knowing how stupid and self-conscious modern teens are it will catch on. She's now back in rehab, which seems to be the hot new place for Hollywood's young sluts. Hope she stays there until she sorts herself out, 'cause I'm tired of this. Then again, it's kinda fun to watch someone descend into the depths of insanity. That's why you read my blog. Right?

My thoughts on...when the gays came out to play

2007-02-22T17:41:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer: Homosexuality is frowned upon in Jamaica. Not because were "homophobic" (surely we can't be afraid of them), but because it is unlawful, as our law is based upon the Bible. Don't post angry comments or fill my inbox with hate mail!

Good. Needed to do that as my posts concerning that controversial subject have been met with harsh criticism, mainly from Americans. Jamaica is in the midst of an anti-homosexual firestorm, ignited by four separate incidents that happened within a week. On Valentines Day, three alleged gay men were attacked by an angry mob of 2,000 people at Tropical Plaza in Half-Way-Tree. It was so bad that the police had to get involved, using teargas no less. In parliament, there was a debate about the definition of rape. It was proposed to be gender neutral, but the female (victim) and male (offender) definition remained as it was thought it would decriminalize buggery. Days later, a gay man was interviewed on Impact about his lifestyle as a gay man, face hidden of course. But that wasn't enough. Members of his community recognized and threatened to kill him. He now wants to commit suicide. Nearly a week after the Valentine's fiasco, three boys less than 11 years old were said to have been seen having sex in an abandoned house. You can pretty much guess the reaction of the residents. Lucky for them, they escaped a serious beating.

Many Jamaicans are shocked by these incidents, and fear that they can no longer keep a lid on homosexuality. I'm not surprised. It has been slowly building under the quiet. They frequent New Kingston and Montego Bay, where their money can shield them. I've heard many stories of young men being hit on by them. And knowing the opposition they face, they normally walk with backup. Lesbians are the boldest of all. Most men ignore the lesbians as according to them, "they can't really have sex," but have zero tolerance for the gay men, many believing that homosexuality is an affront to masculinity itself. Now it has erupted like a dormant volcano, and people simply don't know what to do. It's hard to stamp out a lifestyle, especially with the support from overseas. Good thing no one was hurt, as you'd read all over the BBC and other international newspapers that we're a savage and backward people, reinforced by the belief that we all smoke weed and have advanced little since colonial times. One thing's for sure. Homosexuality is here, and despite our greatest efforts, it won't go away. So we'll have to deal with it...somehow.

My thoughts on...Daniel Radcliffe's latest role

2007-02-19T13:22:00.000-05:00

Daniel Radcliffe. We all know him as Harry Potter. The young wizard has made him quite the star. But Daniel's aiming to take on another, more controversial role. How controversial you may ask? Well let's say the next time you see his rod, it won't be a broom. On the 27th, Daniel will be playing a nude role in the Tony-award winning drama "Equus," in which he will simulate a sex scene while astride a horse. Radcliffe will play a "troubled young man with a religious-erotic obsession with horses." Freaky.

Daniel's psyched about playing the role. He's doing it because he doesn't want to be typecast as the boy wizard for the rest of his life, which could understandably limit his acting career. But parents are not as enthusiastic, and the people at Warner Bros. are steamed, possibly thinking that Daniel's nude performance could affect the popularity of his most famous character.

Why are people making such a big deal out of this? Let him play the part nude. Let him grow as an actor. Why shouldn't he do it? Just because some people are uncomfortable with him tarnishing his wholesome family image. It's his to tarnish if he wants. Just hope there aren't any pretty girls in teh front row, as that would be embarrassing. I wonder if the other Harry Potter stars will do the same? How would that turn out? Emma Watson in Girls Gone Wild? Or perhaps Rupert Grint in a reality show about his recovery from drug addiction?

My thoughts on...the 49th annual Grammy Awards

2007-02-15T14:05:00.000-05:00

Sunday's Grammy Awards weren't the most hyped. I'm not much of an audiophile. Yet I still watch the Grammys, because its the thing everyone will be talking about tomorrow. Yet word of it slipped me, causing me to miss it. And as left out as I felt not watching it, no one seemed to care. The only Grammy talk was of Ziggy Marley's win. Has the Grammys begun to lose its luster? Seems that way in the Caribbean. The biggest news was of course the Dixie Chicks' win of five Grammys, after their criticism of Bush's decision to invade Iraq. I can't see why the chicks are so surprised. Everyone, including the incestuous, square dancing, bigoted rural folk that make up their core audience have jumped ship concerning Bush. Mary J. Blige won three Grammys for "The Breakthrough." Nice to see that a woman doesn't have to be young, white and blonde to be awarded for good music.

There was the usual fashion review. Who really cares? Some of those "God awful" designs could cover my tuition many times over. When I get to the level where I can buy that for my woman, then maybe I'll care. Best Polka Album went to Jimmy Sturr and his orchestra. Doesn't really matter to me. Just didn't realize polka still existed. American Idol winner Carrie Underwood was also a winner that night for new artist and best female country vocal performance. Good to see that see didn't endure all that humiliation at Simon's hand for nothing. They also incorporated some Idol into the Grammy routine. Did you know that last year, American Idol beat the Grammys in terms of viewership? Seems that people prefer to see aspiring hopefuls rise to the top or crash and burn than seeing accomplished professionals get another award for their already filled cabinet. That's my take. Later.

My thoughts on...Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T17:28:00.000-05:00

Aww hell. Here it comes again. Valentines Day, and with it comes the usual intolerable elements: the couples with that lovesick look on their faces, the red and white everywhere and oh yes, the commercialism. Every single commercial-minded person or entity is trying to cash off the holiday, all saying the same basic thing: "He doesn't really love you until he gets you one of these." I guess I shouldn't really blame them. Today is the only little shower in the long drought following Christmas. And yes, HE, because this is a woman's holiday. Men are supposed to splurge on this day, with absolutely not regard to their financial obligations. Women just buy the significant others small presents not to make it seem so one-sided. No wonder so many men say "I don't believe in Valentine's Day." Translation: "I don't wanna splurge on some meaningless trinkets just because society says so." Ok, maybe not so many words.

I've never been a fan of the holiday, mostly I think because of the fact that I've never had a Valentine - until now. My girl is one of those lovey-dovey types. In fact, she gave me my present on Saturday (a not so-subtle hint that she wants her present soon). Fortunately, I was busy today, so I could stave off the mush until someday during the week. hopefully some of the presents will be marked down by then. And here's the ironic thing, on ethe day when people are supposed to use their lips the most, mine are cracked. I mean really cracked. Stripping, discoloured, bleeding cracked. Ugh. V-day is just not my day.

My thoughts on...Anna Nicole Smith's death

2007-02-13T14:55:00.000-05:00

HEEEERE'S LEON! I'm back guys. You may be angry at me for not posting last week as I promised, but I tried to post on Saturday, but Blogger was acting wonky. And yesterday, that was just plain laziness. It's hard to get back into the routine of blogging after you now find yourself with so much free time on your hands. Anyway, back to the show. You all probably know about Anna Nicole Smith's death right? And how couldn't you? It has been on virtually every channel for the past couple days. Was she really that important? I don't think if Dubya died, he'd get half as much love. In fact, I wonder if anyone besides his immediate family would miss his paasing.

I am saddened by her death. Sure, I hated that annoying little whining sound that she made. You know, that sound. And I didn't like that she was yet another in a long ling of brainless beauties that Hollywood has produced. But she was a sight. I wouldn't mind having spent a night with her. Anna Nicole's rise to stardom was somewhat of a Cinderella story. Y'kno, if Cinderella was a stripper and the Prince was a fossilized oil baron. Then again the in-thing is to throw fairy tales in a blender.

And what's with this junk linking her with Marilyn Monroe? Sure there are certain co-incidences, such as the fact that they both posed nude, married older men, had a powerfully seductive allure, and died from drug overdoses at around the same age. But Marilyn was a real actress, who starred in Academy Award winning films. Plus she had class. There is NO comparison! I guess her death is appropriate, as she always wanted to be like Marilyn. You'd think they'd let her rest in peace, wouldn't you. No. They defaced her Wikipedia entry within an hour of her death. My favourite: "The bitch bought the farm." Not cool. R.I.P Anna. Now if only those networks would kill the coverage of your death.

On vacation!

2007-02-03T13:04:00.000-05:00

I would like to apologize for the lack of posting for the past few days. It's just that I've been stressed out (more than usual). School, love life, home, have all had me down. So much so that the usual random thoughts that make up the content of my posts just aren't coming. I'll look at the computer screen and nothing comes to mind. So I've decided to take a little break from blogging to rest my head and collect my thoughts, as it seems I'm suffering from blogger burnout. In fact, taking a little break is advised by many professional bloggers, including Darren Rowse. Don't worry, I'll be back by next week. Just bear with me. In the meantime, you can entertain yourself by digging into my archives.

My thoughts on...the release of Windows Vista

2007-01-31T17:32:00.000-05:00

It's here. After all the delays and all of the hype, Vista, code named Longhorn, the long promised operating system that would change the world, was released yesterday. From the way Billy Boy was pushing it, you'd think the thing could operate a computer as well as do your taxes, mow your lawn and cure cancer. But it was received with mixed reaction, a far cry from the thunderous applause he expected. Still, it got a positive reaction from most PC users, the ones still stuck in the Microsoft matrix and thinks they're the greatest and most revolutionary company since Ford Motors. The rest of us that actually know about Mac, Linux and other alternatives, meh, not so much. Not surprising though. To become as wealthy as, you've gotta know how to push your product. I swear, Bill could sell them their own left foot and they'd buy it without hesitation. It was just released a day ago, and already I've seen two people with it. (There's virtually no system on Earth that we Jamaicans can't break.)

When I first saw it, I thought it was a Mac, the interface being so similar and all. I had to take a second glance to see that it was a Microsoft OS. When I finally realized it, I sighed in the realization that Microsoft was yet again trying to keep up with its competitors the best way it knew how - by mimicking them. They were copying Macintosh this time, imitating their sleek, minimalist interface, trying to shed the bland, boring image those Mac vs. PC ads often poked fun at. Though I didn't make it much past the Start menu, I could pretty much see that the "upgrade" was little more than cosmetic. Aside from the "new" look, they've got a couple new programs like Windows DVD Maker and IE7, a redesign of Windows Explorer, and a supposedly more secure system, although it is rumored that even the lowly XBOX 360 is more secure than it. Though it its defense, when you aim to ~~dumb down~~ make an OS more user friendly, sometimes secrurity has to be sacrificed.

The slogan of the release is "the Wow starts now." Gee. Do they mean, wow, I paid 500 bucks for this? Or wow, it got a virus already? Or perhaps, wow, does this OS blow! And to make things worse, it is rumoured that Microsoft is on the side of the big movie and record companies, and has some sort of "Big Brother" content protection that could prevent you from flagrantly violating copyright laws (which we all do. C'mon. Admit it). I knew that someday Microsoft would use its powers for evil! As far as I see it, Vista is just a pretty XP with a bunch extra stuff thrown in. More like an expansion than an upgrade, and as much as they try to badger me, I'll stick with XP. But who am I to prevent Bill Gates from retiring in style?