My thoughts...on stuff: June 2007

Friday, June 29, 2007

My thoughts on...the Spice Girls reunion tour

With money from alimony and child support suits seemingly unable to sate their appetites, the Spice Girls have reunited for a world tour. Try to contain your enthusiasm. Five years ago, this would've been news, but no one nowadays. The headlines are now dominated by the iPhone and Par...FIGHT IT! Want proof that no one cares? I read the original article on Yahoo! News. At the time, it had NO ratings. None. Ouch! The "girls" have been busy being mothers since the '90s, with Baby Spice pulling a Beyonce and going solo, with lackluster results. In their interview, they keep on talking about doing this for "their fans." Oy vey!

Girls (and I use the term loosely), the ladies in your lamaze class and your kids' PTA meetings aren't a large enough fanbase for a world tour. If you want this to be a success, you've gotta build up some publicity. Why not act ditzy, drive with an expired licence, have a mockery of a trial, get thrown in prison, act up while in said prison, and bam! The media'll be putty in your hands once you get out! Just ask Par...ri...ri...RESIST HER DARK HOLD OVER THE MEDIA! YOU'RE ALMOST THROUGH THE POST! The Girls are also going to make a documentary. (I thought that's what Spiceworld was?). Their show will span the world, from Argentina to Australia, so all eleven of their fans worldwide can join in. Phew! Made it! And without having mentioned Paris Hilton.
...
NOOOOOO!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

My thoughts on...Chris Benoit's death

I heard the news yesterday on UNLOADED. Ricardo posted about Chris Benoit's death. At the time, he was unsure if Chris was the one who did it. As shocked as I was, I hoped that he wasn't the culprit, that some Cho Seung-Hui type madman committed the dirty deed.

Well guess what?

Chris was that Cho Seung-Hui type madman.

I'm not much of a wrestling fan, much less a Chris Benoit fan, but a murder like this would shock anyone. In fact, a wrestling death hasn't touched me this much since Owen Hart's. There's a painful irony in all of this. Not long before, Vince McMahon faked his own death (in another of his publicity stunts). And now, an actual death in the wrestling arena. Only God knows what kind of demons had possessed to do such as terrible deed. He must've been suffering some sort of mental distress, but given the "invincible" image wrestlers are supposed to portray, I think he felt pressured not to seek help, as that would damage his image.

The media has been trying to sensationalize this story, trying to attribute it to "'roid rage." Not haemorroids. Steroids. Unbelievable! Still, modern media is all about the ratings. Though drugs he was taking probably influenced his actions, evidence suggests that the murder was premeditated. None of this is true of course. Despite all this, I can't bring myself to hate him. Instead I pity him. I just do.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

My thoughts on...drinking

We've all done it, at one time or another. From imbibing to getting totally wasted, whichever end of the spectrum we frequent, we've all consumed some alcohol. And no, drinking Mom's sorrel doesn't count. I'm talking about liquor. Personally I find myself on the lower end. I hold a sort of hatred towards alcohol. It was developed over years of seeing drunken old men at the local bar, slurring, urinating on themselves and making brazen remarks about the barmaids. This blatant lack of self control made me promise myself that I would never overindulge in any strong brew. Threats by my friends to spike my drinks whenever I came to one of their parties didn't help much either.

Now, in college, many of the major sessions my fellow students attend are sponsored by Appleton, and always feature some kind of malt liquor like Smirnoff Black Ice. This reminds me of a documentary, or a news special. I forget which. Anyway, it spoke of Big Alcohol using these sweet and colourful malt beverages as a gateway to alcoholism. I never saw it again after that. Guess some alcohol exec had it killed. And guess what? Their plan worked like a charm! Every party you go now has to have hard liquor present. It's almost as if socialization cannot take place without the presence of alcohol. And with the "drink responsibly" campaign, alcohol seems to have been declawed in the eyes of the youth.

I was part of a crew serving refreshments during a recent campus event, and a guy asked if we had alcohol. I said no, we only have soft drinks and water. the guy looked at me as if I was offering him something from the toilet. Yes. It's that's bad! So being a pawn of the alcohol execs: not for me! But I have lighten on my stance over the years, as in all things, even alcohol, it all comes down to moderation. My fellow bloggers MadBull and Dr. D knock back a few every once in a while and they don't seem the worse for it. So I still hate alcohol and its cirrhosis-causing, dignity-stealing ways, but if I stay within my limits, I should be okay. That doesn't give me much room, 'cause I'm a lightweight, as those who know my sorrel story will attest.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Will I be a multimillionaire?

Your Chances of Being a Multimillionaire: 92%

It's almost certain you'll be a multimillionaire. Just keep doing what you're doing.

You are good with money, a creative thinker, and an ethical person. You might be the next Donald Trump!

Will You Be a Multimillionaire?

Holy crap!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

My thoughts on...student-teacher "relations"

I was reading some wacky news, just for entertainment's sake, when I came across an article about a teacher having sex with a student. Wait! Before you close the browser window, here's the kicker. The kid was dating her daughter as well. Nice! The kid's dad gave the teacher a restraining order to the teacher (and a high five to his son). The football coach was sickened by incident. (Yeah, sickened that a little runt like him succeeded where he failed). That picture isn't one of her by the way.

Stories of teachers taking their relationships with their students outside of the classroom and into the bedroom are a dime a dozen nowadays. The first earth-shattering one was the Mary-Kay Letourneau case. If this happened back then, people would be mortified and questioning amongst themselves when society would completely descend into chaos. Nowadays, meh. What's else is on? The most recent shocker was the Debra Lafave case. She got a light sentence, because let's face it, a girl that hot couldn't have taken a liason with that little squirt seriously (ever realize that most of the offenders are hella ugly?). Or could she?

I have to wonder why cases like these are happening so frequently? Why are American teachers having sex with their students? I should say teachers in general, as it happens in Jamaica too. But you hear of it a lot less. Maybe it's because the teachers that hit on the students are mostly male, and the students don't regularly come out and say anything. This is perhaps out of fear or because they don't want to tarnish their lover's (yeah right) reputation. But I can somewhat understand this. Somewhat. If American men are as pathetic as the ones in Knocked Up, American Pie and movies of the like, and if the hormones surging through their veins are enough to cause young girls to look like fully grown ladies, then it's small wonder why teacha' is giving your kid "personal attention" and not you.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Tag! It I am!

Madbull tagged Abeni, whose tag I took on. Sorry Bobby. You were too late. So without further ado, here are 8 things random things you probably don't know about me.

1. I invent board games in my spare time.
2. I can't tolerate stupid people.
3. I am drawn to The Dark Side.
4. I never saw all of Jaws.
5. I can tell you the square of every number from 1 to 40 out of my head.
6. I once laughed so hard soda came out of my nose...then almost drowned on said soda.
7. Bodily harm is one of the few things that makes me laugh.
8. Sorrel made me tipsy once.

C'mon! Take on the challenge (if you're brave enough!)

Monday, June 18, 2007

My thoughts on...Father's Day

Yesterday, as we all know, was Father's Day. Well if you didn't know I wouldn't be surprised, as Father's Day doesn't get nearly as much press as Mother's Day. But that's mostly the fault of the men, sadly. In Jamaica, a man is supposed to be fruitful and multiply, with as many girls (because a woman wouldn't allow such irresponsible behaviour) as humanly possible. Nothing's said about taking care of them. The result? Hundreds of fatherless children. I heard a teenager complaining over the weekend about her mother wanting a present for Father's Day in addition to Mother's Day. Unfair? Wwhat do you think? My own parents have experienced the lack of a father figure in their lives, worst of all my father. At least my mother can point out her dad's whereabouts on a globe.

Despite all this, the media still gave dads their props. Except for one channel (as far as I know), Lifetime. Yesterday I didn't see them acknowledge fathers in any way. Guess they came into this world via asexual reproduction. In fact, they had some "I am woman, hear me roar" thing going on over the weekend. guess they couldn't bring themselves to admit that not all men are self-centered, egotistical bastards. As I get older, and realize the bad on my side of species Homo Sapiens, the more I appreciate my father. I now realize it's not about having a father that gives you everything, but one that cares enough to try. I also realize how much I take after my father, without making a conscious effort to. Here's to you dad, and all the other fathers out there. Moms sure can try, but not even they can replace you.

Friday, June 15, 2007

My thoughts on...Lisa Hanna's entry into politics

Yes, it's election time here in Jamdown. There are political rallies every other week now, pollsters are stumbling over each other to see who is most accurate, and of course promises, name calling and back-biting galore. In the midst of all this, former beauty queen Lisa Hanna planned to make her debut in Jamaican politics. It caused quite a controversy indeed. She hoped to replace Aloun Assamba as PNP candidate for South East St. Ann. She'd be my last choice for a politician, because she has had absolutely no political experience, and before being wooed by the PNP, she wasn't even affiliated with any political party. So why would the PNP choose her? Simple. Because people like her. Most Jamaicans don't seem to vote with their heads, but rather with their hearts. Then again, the majority of die-hard political supporters are the poor and illiterate masses, who aren't intelligent enough to objectively analyse the issues.

Charisma is the name of the game, and Lisa's got that in spades. Plus she's got that winning smile. Oh that smile. And with the threat of a JLP victory looming over their heads, the PNP needs all the winners they can get. In addition to her, they wooed DB&G's Peter Bunting to be their candidate for Central Manchester. But it wasn't her appointment that caused the controversy. It was the overwhelming lack of support Assamba's supporters gave her. In their view, she was unfit because she didn't come from their area. Again, unable to view things objectively. What a trite and totally stupid reason! But they accepted her with open arms once Portia gave her the nod. Surrender your convictions because of the urging of your party leader, to whom you shouldn't have any concrete loyalty to? Dance puppets, dance. I hope Miss Hanna does well in her new post. one thing still bugs me though. Did she do this just to spite her ex-husband, ex-JLP senator David Panton?

Thursday, June 14, 2007

My thoughts on...International Weblogger's Day '07

Break out the bubbly, fellow bloggers! Today is International Weblogger's Day, so go ahead, pat yourself on the back for your contributions to the blogosphere. The good ones anyway, not those "YouTube" blogs. Aside from my birthday, this is the closest I have to a personal holiday as I'm not a father or a mother. I checked my inbox this morning and there it was, an email informing me of the date and inviting me to post about the day. I'm still wondering how they got my Hotmail address and not my GMail address, the one I use on my blog. This made me feel a bit special and things like this are perks to blogging.

I haven't gotten any as of late, as I feel as if I am giving more to blogging than I am getting in return. I spend hours brainstorming and scan various news sites just to come up with a single post. And since I don't have Internet access (yet), I have to walk 15 minutes from home to use a cybercafe. And after I post, I have to comment on 4 or so blogs just to get a comment on that post. My site stats are a lie because 80% of my "readers" are actually surfers on blog exchanges, who only stick around for the required 30 seconds. No wonder I haven't been motivated to post much lately. Well today I looked at the number of posts for June and realized that I only posted 4 for the month, and today's the 14! That and today's date made me renew my commitment to blogging. That special email made me realize that I am still important in the blogosphere, and my voice should remain strong. Happy International Weblogger's Day!

Friday, June 08, 2007

My thoughts on...Microsoft Surface

Remember in Minority Report, when that whackjob Tom Cruise was moving around those computer windows with just his hands? Pretty cool, wasn't it? Well that technology is here today.

Or at least that's what Microsoft wants you to think.

They have invented a new way to interface with your computer, called Surface. It allows you to move objects on the screen with just your fingers. No mouse, no keyboard. "It's a touchscreen. Big deal!," you might say. I did too, but it's a bit more, and trust me, there's no one more anti-Microsoft than me. Surface senses multiple points of contact, unlike a touchscreen which senses only one, as demonstrated in a demo where you can use both fingers to stretch and rotate a picture. It can also read barcodes and credit cards. It's an interesting device, I must say. But in typical Microsoft fashion, they have taken this minor innovation, wrapped it in Apple-like graphics and presented it was the best thing since the Internet.

They call it "A new way to live in the digital world." But if there's one thing I've learned about the tech sector, is that it's not neccessarily about innovation, but the perception of it. But it's understandable why Microsoft would want to overhype their little invention, though no one seems to care. Microsoft hasn't had much to brag about lately. Apple, their nearest competition, seems to be outperforming them in every way (except on the desktop side of course). Apple's stock is rising while Microsoft's is falling, the Zune is collecting dust on store shelves, MSN Soapbox is a joke, Firefox is eating away IE's market share, Billy G is leaving the company, and even the Surface is being overshadowed by the impending release of the iPhone. And don't get me started on Vista.

But even if you want to get your hands on one, they're going for US$5,000 to US$10,000 each, and more than likely you don't have that kind of money lying around. That's why they're targeting big businesses, such as hotels, casinos, restaurants, stores and the like. And by the time technology costs drive it down, your grandchildren will be using it. It's nice to dream though isn't it?

Thursday, June 07, 2007

My thoughts on...the Thundercats movie

Transformers is set to hit theatres this July, but another oldie but goodie is poised to hit the big screen. Warner Bros. has plans to make a live action Thundercats movie. Yahoo! Oh, sorry. That's copyrighted. I've heard rumours of a Thundercats movie for years, and I'm finally glad it's coming to the big screen. Not so sure live action is the way to go. I mean, which actor can pull off Lion-O's orange hair, much less his character? the date of release has not been announced as yet, so it will be a while before we see Mumm-Ra get his ass handed to him by Lion-O, Panthra, Cheeetara and the others, though it seems as it will be coming after the He-Man movie. First Transformers, then He-Man, now this. What's next, the SilverHawks movie? Hollywood is obviously trying to make money off our childhood memories. I have no problem with that, as long as they do them justice.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

My thoughts on...Paris Hilton doing time

Y'all must be mighty pissed at the length of time that I've been absent from my blog. Truth is, I've been quite busy the past few days. But enough. Plus I've got a bad case of blogger's block. Enough apologizing. Back to the post. Some time back I spoke of Paris Hilton being sent to jail for 45 days. Well her time officially began on Monday. She traded in her designer clothing for a drab orange uniform, took her mugshot and went to her cell, with surprisingly no complaint. But that doesn't mean she was treated like an ordinary prisoner. She was exempted from a cavity search and was allowed to keep her makeup on during the mugshot. And have you seen her prison cell? It's cleaner than most living rooms! And this is no exaggeration. I didn't see a spot of the walls. It was as if they renovated the cell especially for her. She even has a metal toilet. Guess ceramic isn't good enough for her perfectly pampered bum.

You'd expect 26-year old Paris to finally kick into adult gear and take responsibility for her actions. But she's still whining like a 12-year old. She says she's scared, complains that the cell is "freezing cold", hasn't slept or eaten, and is worried about a staph infection outbreak there. Lemme get this straight. She arrives in prison and there's suddenly an infectious outbreak? Hmmm. They even called in an emergency psychiatrist to deal with the "trauma." Heck, even when in prison, she's still the center of attention. She's got fans there chanting her name, and instead of throwing a wrench in the Paris Hilton media machine, it's working overtime, as the press can't get enough of Hilton's "hell-on-earth." And after all this, she may be released 23 days for good behaviour. I have a funny feeling that this won't change her behaviour much. It'll probably be an experience for her to write another bad song or book about.

Friday, June 01, 2007

My thoughts on...the Great Firewall of China

I encountered this site the other day, and I thought it was cool enough to share with you. Greatfirewallofchina.org checks your URL to see if your site is blocked in China. As you know, or should know, the Chinese government hates free speech, so blogs are pretty much public enemy No. 1 when it comes to censorship. I entered my URL and lo and behold, it was blocked! I actually felt good, like a crusader for free speech or something. But just when I thought those commies had it out for me in particular, turns out that all Blogger blogs are blocked. So if you have a Blogspot blog, no mystery as to whether it's blocked or not. Why not try it and post the result?